'where we are now' remus lupin & regulus black

Take me to church

"I should've worshiped her sooner. If the Heavens ever did speak, she's the last true mouth piece. Every Sundays getting more bleak, a fresh poison each week. We were "born sick," you heard them say it."
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REMUS LUPIN

If there's one thing that everyone knows, it's that break up suck. But unless you've been subject to one, you don't know just how much they suck; or in what specific ways.

For instance, no one told me you can love someone so much...but not nearly half as much as you can miss them. And when things break, it's not the actual breaking that prevents them from being put back together again. It's because a little piece gets lost— the two remaining ends can't fit together even if they want to. The whole shape is changed.

I am just a collection of shattered memories. Pieces.

Cordelia was looking at me. "Your hair never quite lies flat, here." She touches my head, just behind my ear. "I don't think i've ever told you how I like it."

My scalp prickled where her fingers had been. "You haven't," I said.

"I should have."  Her hand drifted down to the V of the base of my throat, drawing softly across the pulse. "What about this? Have I told you what I think of this scar, just here?"

"No," I said.

"This one surely then," Her hand moved across the muscles of my chest; my skin warmed beneath it. "Have I told you of this?"

"That you have told me," My breath caught a little as I spoke.

"And what of this?" Her hand lingered over my hips, drew down the line of the largest scar on my thigh. "Have I spoken about it?"

"You have."

"And this? Surely I would not have forgotten this," Her mischievous smile. "Tell me I didn't."

"You didn't."

"There is this too," Her hand was ceaseless now. "I know I've told you of this."

I closed my eyes. "Tell me again."

Before her, Cordelia, my life was a dark moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars, points of light and reason. ...And then she shot across my life like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was vibrancy, there was beauty. Now that she's gone, now that the meteor has fallen over the horizon, everything's gone black. Nothing has changed, but my eyes are blinded from the light. I can't even see the stars anymore. And there's no more reason, for anything.

Love is irrational, I remind myself. The more you love someone the less sense anything else makes.

"Remus!"

My eyes flutter a few times as Lilys fingers snap in front of my face.

"Sorry, was daydreaming." I mumble, looking around. Huh. How long have I been in the common room?

"I'm worried about you, Remmy. You don't seem like yourself."

"Don't call me that, please." I beg. "And i'm fine. I already told you that."