TITANS. aot

END | e. smith

erwin | gender-neutral!reader

why do the birds go on singing?
why do the stars glow above?
don't they know it's the end of the world?
it ended when i lost your love

— skeeter davis, the end of the world. 

     you moved the maroon curtains to the side and peeked out of the window, watching the rain drop to the concrete ground. the patter of the rain resonated inside your home, loud and clear as the people outside rush to cover themselves before they could get drenched.

     surprisingly, the sun shone brighter than before, the ray of sunlight mixing with the rain as they swarmed the ground outside. you wore a small smile, finding comfort in the weather.

     it was a nice change from the usual stormy weather. whenever it rains inside wall rose, gray clouds would blanket the sky and darken the environment eerily. why would the creator choose to hide the only light in this tragic world?

     leaning against the window sill, you lost yourself in your own imagination. you watched the rain in silence, finding tranquility in the gentle downfall as your mind ran places.

     footsteps soon filled the living room, followed by the wooden creak of the floors. you looked up from the window and glanced behind you, your heart thrumming against your ribcage. 

      your husband entered the living room who just woke up from a long night rest, eyes drooping open and close. his walk was sluggish and he took a seat on the couch, letting out a yawn. he ran a hand through his messy hair, moving the blond strands out of his cerulean eyes. you giggled under your breath, watching him with amusement twinkling in your eyes.

     it's been a while since you have him stayed over for a long time. luckily, he had a free week to spare before he gets busy with his next mission—the retaking of wall maria—and he has been spending every second he has with you to make up for the loss time. truly a magnificent husband, he didn't even want to leave your side when you told him you would be out to buy meat and other food.

     "good morning, my love. why didn't you wake me up earlier?" he asked, voice groggy and still laced with sleep. 

     you smiled warmly and made your way to the couch, taking a seat beside him on the couch by his head. erwin easily moved and placed his head on your lap, your hand immediately running through his smooth golden strands. "you were sleeping soundly, i didn't want to break that. after all, you need your rest." 

     "i think i got enough rest for the past few days." was his reply.

     "but you're forgetting that you'll need all of your energy to retake shiganshina." you smiled forlornly, your eyes trailing to the dangling sleeve on the floor that brought you pain months before. "you need to be prepared, love. i don't... want anything to happen to you again."

     your husband pursed his lips together, not bothering to reply, but he glanced at you with warm eyes that battled the sun outside. his gaze was soft and calculating, taking note of your expression that mimicked fear and pain.

     the two of you knew what you were both walking into when the two of you got married. a mere person working in a bakery inside wall rose and a survey corps commander who faces titans for a living, is there even a happy ending between the two in a world doomed from the start?

     you knew the consequences and chose to acknowledge them but why is it that every time erwin had to go outside the walls for an expedition, the urge to keep him inside and away from the world grew stronger?

     "my love," erwin spoke up softly, "please don't worry about me."

     he grabbed your hand with the softest of touch and pressed his lips against the back of your hand, "i'll come back for you." he etched the words of promise against your skin, a reassurance that brought you peace for the mean time.

     "okay... i trust you." you chuckled, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. your heart felt heavy even as you let it be, but you decided to not think much about it and trust in the promise of your husband instead.

     soon enough, that painful feeling disappeared and now all of your attention was on the blond man instead. "we still have time before you leave, do you have any plans?" you asked, voice above a whisper once you saw his eyes shut again. poor man has been skipping plenty of rest for work, you didn't want to ruin his sleeping schedule that was starting to fix itself up ever since he got home.

      you heard him grumble before answering, "nothing. i'd rather spend my remaining days with you for the mean time."

     "hm, and rest too while you're at it." you giggled.

     erwin groaned, fed up at the idea of sleeping all day, before sitting up from your lap. you watch him as he stood up, offering you his hand. you arched an eyebrow at his direction but held his hand, allowing him to pull you up to your feet.

     pushing you close to him, erwin slithered his arm around your waist before swaying the two of you in an imaginary beat. 

     "i didn't know we were going to dance, mr. smith." you teased, looking up at him with a small smirk. "we look a bit weird dancing without music, don't you think so?"

     "then sing, my love. you have a beautiful voice." he replied with a small chuckle, eyes shut as he placed his chin on top of your head. 

     you pouted, the weight of his head making you look directly at his chest. the two of you continued to dance in the middle of the room, the golden rays of sun swimming inside your home. the rain drops that continued to fall outside served as your own melody, leading the two of you in a slow yet lovely dance.

     you hummed at the same time, finding a beat that matched the tempo of the rain.

     erwin chuckled at this but made no effort in cutting you off, guiding you with the steps as the two of you settle in the comfort of one another.

     heart full and contented, you closed your eyes and took in his scent. you could hear his heartbeat as you place your head on his chest, beating for you only. his warmth radiated off like a fireplace, enveloping you in a warm hug that brought comfort.

     you smiled, finding comfort in erwin's embrace.

     the two of you continued dancing, no particular steps, but with a steady tempo lead by the rain and your soothing voice.

     the rain outside soon grew stronger and you struggled to match your tune. the warmth disappeared, replaced with an empty feeling of coldness that nipped at your skin.

     you could no longer match your tune to the rain and your dance became a stumble of footwork.

     confused, you opened your eyes.

     standing in the middle of the dark room, was you, one of you arms wrapped around your waist.

                                                                                                                                                                                                       
                                                                                                                                                                                                       
a/n: happy valentine's y'all, enjoy pain for the month of hearts <3