TITANS. aot

FLOWERS | b. hoover

bertholdt | fem!reader

                                                                       
                                                                       
     "bertholdt! let's talk!" armin yelled with determination, standing on top of a tower as he glared at the tall figure in the air. the latter stopped propelling his gear and leaned on a near house, breathing in to shout his answer.

     "if i talk, do you all agree to die?!"

      bertholdt... he's really the colossal titan. you couldn't believe it. the boy you loved was one of humanity's enemies. the boy who promised to protect you and stay by your side no matter what.

     now that you think about it, his claims and promises almost sound like they came out of a romantic novel, like the ones armin lend to you for you to read. words to make you feel those butterflies prickling in your stomach but actually held no meaning. just words to make you feel you're important when in reality, it's nothing. deceits to make himself believe that he was a soldier, fighting for humanity with the person he loved by his side. to make him believe that he's human. was all his promises a lie? those three words that he'd whisper when both of you are alone, was it all a lie too?

     why would he devote himself to love if his purpose of living was to make your lives a living hell? was it to make him look more innocent and believable? a man with emotions and no regrets despite the sins he committed?

     it pained you. it pained you how you have to fight the guy you've been dating for two years. it pained you how you had to kill him if provoked, no matter what the circumstances were. it pissed you how you were fooled, how you didn't even notice anything odd when you were together. you were so close to him yet you didn't learn any useful information.

     how stupid, right?

     you could still remember the tired and haunted look in your friends' faces when they came back from the apparent breach of wall rose. you were confused and scared, searching through the faces of the injured soldiers in hopes of finding the man you loved dearly, safe and sound.

     you were ordered to help capture the female titan in stohess district and were forced to stay to keep an eye on pastor nick while the rest of the survey corps, along with the other branches, help with slaughtering the titans that you thought had entered. all you could do was pray for your comrades' safety, as well as the other 104th soldiers who were under the suspicion of being annie's comrades.

     you weren't prepared for the news they brought. you weren't prepared when they told you eren was almost captured and that ymir went away. you weren't prepared when they told you bertholdt was the colossal titan.

     the sleepless nights you'd spend with him, you now spend with terrifying thoughts. the space you'd leave in your bed for him was now occupied with your tears. all you could hope was this was a bad dream, a prank.

     blinking out of your thoughts, you pull yourself back in the reality and watch the two men converse. your eyes were wide, fear and hopelessness visible. you looked around you and noted that the other squads surrounded bertholdt and reiner, who was down and recovering from the previous explosions of your thunderspears. your eyes darted to armin and bertholdt, still far away from one another.

     you knew armin was only buying time. talking the tall male out of their plan to destroy humanity was almost impossible, not when--

     "that's it!" you exclaimed suddenly, catching the rest of your friends' attention. mikasa looked at you with concern, about to ask you what was wrong when you suddenly shot up the sky and startled the others.