TRAITOR (E. Jeager)

Chapter 28

I'm depressed. I love you Isayama but hate you at the same time.
Question of the day: what is your favorite color?
------------

After the meeting in Zeke's room, you decided to head over to the grocery store and buy some groceries for the next couple of days or so. Raza was staying in training late due to cram school to bring his grade up.

While later on you we're supposed to attend dinner with the Galliard family. Maybe you would buy some flowers for Mrs. Galliard to thank her for helping Raza out while you were on the battlefield.

You picked a couple of the items that you would be used for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the next week. You also picked out some snacks for Raza to take to training for strength and energy. Just some protein bars and fruits.

As you were about to leave you made sure to grab a basket of apples to take to the hospital nearby, after all, you heard that there were lots of injured soldiers from the previous war. It was the least you could do for now, maybe talking to some of them will help their mental health.

You headed towards your house to drop off the groceries and clean the house thoroughly. You cleaned off the counters and swept the cement flooring, gathering a small pile of dirt. Wiped the windows down and folded some already dried laundry.

After you grabbed the basket full of red apples and headed towards the hospital. The weather was nice and warm, contrary to earlier that morning when it was colder. That reminded you, where had Reiner gone to?

You last remembered him leaving the meeting and heading towards the abandoned cells that were no longer in occupation. Changing your route to go check on him, with the wind trailing behind your military boots that hid under your long skirt.

"Miss Y/n!" You heard Udo call out to you from afar.

"Hey kid, did you so happen to see where Reiner went?" You asked him with desperation lacing in your voice and facial expressions.

"Uh, I think I saw him enter the building over there." He replied while pointing towards the abandoned building.

"Ok thank you, take care!" You yelled while jogging towards the building. 'Shit, Reiner you better not be planning on leaving me here you cowardly bastard!' Your mind raced through many thoughts of what he could do to himself in there. If the old Reiner is still alive in there then you needed to get there as fast as you could.

As you arrived at the entrance of the building you dropped the basket full of apples outside and darted inside while pounding on every door that ran into your path.

"REINER!" You called out while pounding your fists into each door hoping to get a response.

"REINER WHERE ARE YOU!"

As you called your breath to reorganize your thoughts you heard a small *clink* noise come from one of the rooms at the very end of the building.

A gun.

"REINER, DON'T!" You yelled while pounding your fists against the door as hard as your body let you. There was a silence that engulfed the whole building as your quiet sobs were slowly echoing through the walls.

"REINER I SWEAR IF YOU LEAVE ME I- ILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!" You screamed while punching, kicking, and scratching the door.

"LISTEN TO ME, YOU COWARD!"

"DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE ME! PLEASE!"

"REINER! DONT LEAVE ME!"

"I WON'T FORGIVE YOU I SWEAR!"

"Please..." Your screams muffled down as the energy was slowly slipping out of your body. Your back slowly slumped down against the door as tears cascaded down your eyes.

"I want to leave too... but there are people who keep me here... please don't leave me alone with this burden..." You whispered while waiting for a response.

"I miss them too... I miss them so much... I can't live with what we did to Marco... to everyone... I can't... but please don't leave me... we'll get through this together alright?..." Shuffling was heard from inside the room as you heard the door open up slowly, revealing a sobbing Reiner. You stood up as looked behind him and into the room. All that was in there was him, a chair, and a rifle.

You jumped on him as he stubbled back at the impulse.

"YOU COWARD! YOU WERE GOING TO LEAVE ME WEREN'T YOU!" You yelled while punching his chest repeatedly.

"I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA STICK THROUGH THIS TOGETHER! WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT HUH?" You pulled his collar down to bring his face close to yours.

"IF YOU KILLED YOURSELF I WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF! I WOULD HAVE PROBABLY CHASED AFTER YOU! BUT I WOULD NEVER LEAVE YOU FIRST! YOU COWARD!" You backed away a couple of steps and fell onto your knees crying. Your hands were covering your face as you let out loud and uncontrolled sobs.

His body slowly fell in front of yours while pulling you into a tight hug. You flung onto his shoulder as he held your back tightly. Quiet sobs escaped his lips now and then as he buried his face into the crook of your neck.

"Damn you..." You muttered between sobs.

"I'm sorry..." He whispered back while crying into your shoulder.

"I just wanted the pain to stop."

"I just wanted to go back to those days..."

"I'm so sorry."

He continued his whispering as you calmed down your breaths. He clung onto your shoulder like a lost child looking for comfort in anyone who would cross his path, then again that was what Marley had stolen from the warriors. Their childhood. Children do not belong in war.

You remained to hold onto him tightly as he let all of his tears out onto your shoulder.

"I know it's difficult. Having to deal with all of these responsibilities ever since we came back from Paradis. I know it's so hard to live with our hands stained with blood." You whispered as his grip on you tightened.

"I know it tears us apart to remember what we did to them. I know... but this world is just so cruel that it won't let us leave. Trust me I've tried... you and everybody else was there to help me at my time... I want to help you." You whispered while supporting his head on your shoulder.

"All we have is each other Reiner, we hold the weight of our mistakes, and I can feel it slowly crushing us..."

------------

I'm in Spain
But the S is silent :)

--------------