TRAITOR (E. Jeager)

Chapter 44

Hey guys! I apologize for not updating for such a long time, I've been kind of in a depression mood lately so I'm trying my hardest to write as much as I can. School has started once again for me so I'm pretty down in the dumps about having more stress being poured onto me but I'll get through it! Thank you all for reading!
Question: What is you're favorite subject?
----------

The sound of soft whimpers were echoing through the dark forest, far away from where camp had been set up. The moon shined down upon the dark green leaves, creating small shadows reflecting its half crescent shape onto the ground below.

You sat just a few feet away from Jean, hugging your knees to your chest, burring your face in your arms.

Jean sat in a similar manner, his hands were covering his ears as more tears ran down from his face. You didn't say anything. There was nothing to say.

There was no excuse for what you had done and you knew that no matter how many times you apologized it would never make amends for the people you killed. For killing someone he cared about greatly.

You looked up to the moon, it was shining brightly, forgetting the chaos that was being inflicted upon the earth that very moment. Even when everyone was suffering, it wouldn't stop shining for anyone.

"Y/n," Jean spoke up, "You sure matured a lot haven't you. It seems as it was only yesterday you were still sneaking out with Sasha for food after curfew." His voice was barely above a whisper, a slight chuckle mixed in his tone.

He was trying his hardest to break the uncomfortable silence between the two of you, even if it was with such words.

The nights you would sneak out with Sasha for food were the ones that you would never grow to forget. The way she would pull you through the halls, piling loafs of break into her nightgown. Laughing as you nearly tripped down the stairs to the kitchen.

The way she would hide the food under loose wood planks in the floor, eventually causing a family of rodents to settle in the girls barracks.

"I guess I have." You whispered back, your eyes were scanning the sky again with desperation to find comfort in what you where looking for, just like they had done every other night you had the chance.

Looking for that one star. It always seemed to bring you down to earth, it made you feel small and secure. You had told Sasha about that star, to which she replied, "I think that star suits the both of you."

"Today it's not out. Your star, I mean, Eren's and your's star. The star that you two claimed." Your head was quick to snap towards Jean's direction. "How do you-"

"Every time we would go out in the night for missions in the training corps he would point at it and say, "We claimed that star, Y/n and I, it's our promise to be together!" And all sorts of other cheesy things. That idiot was completely head over heals for you. A complete idiot who was in love."

That didn't help you at all. It increased the guilt that had been building up inside you for over the past years. "He was..." your voice trailed on a light smile forming on you lips, disappearing with the wind and the past as soon as you registered it.

The silence that settled in its place felt oddly comfortable for you, no need for words just silence, just the presence of the both of you was more than enough.