my diary

Thursday, april 15th

So it is nighttime and I want to tell you about my day. It was good and bad. I'll start with lunch because that's what I've been talking about recently. This one girl that I have been talking to the most wasn't there. But it's ok because I knew everyone anyway and I was getting comfortable around them. There are these two guys who sat with us yesterday. Then later that night I was texting kylee and she said she thinks they are funny. I don't really like them but I guess it will be fine. I still feel like an outsider with them. I feel neglected. But maybe with time once I understand their humor more we will be better friends. I started my period this morning, so I snuck midol into lunch and took it there. If I don't eat with it, it makes me really nauseous. But when I looked at my food, I couldn't do it. In drama, we were reading a play and one girl was reading her lines and said "at least I eat. What did you have for lunch today?" I thought back to all the times I couldn't get myself to eat. I started to tear up, so I was about to go to the bathroom when I got called down to the office. (Just to return a chromebook charger I had borrowed.) But once I got back, it was time to leave so I never got my tears out. It was REALLY nice to write that down. I mean, NO ONE knows about it. Even kylee. I know we weren't like besties or anything but she still knows so much stuff about me that no one else knows. I would tell her anything. I would trust her with anything. Anyway, after school me and my friend went to this guy's house. (We will call him brad) we all live in my neighborhood. he was hanging out with some friends (that we usually don't hang out with) so we all hung out and it was pretty fun. Naturally, when I got in there, I took his hat off of him and started wearing it. I was wearing it the whole time and when we had to leave, I left with it on and brad didn't notice. Once I got home he snapped me a picture of a bracelet and asked me if it was mine. It wasn't but I told him it was because it was pretty cute and I get a thrill out of stealing things. (That's why I stole his hat.) Once I told him it was mine, he said "ok" and I said "gimme it tmrw" and he said "no" and I said "I want it" and he said "ur fine" and I sent a picture of his hat and said "then you don't need this" and he was so shocked and he said "what??? Gimme it" and I said "no" and he said "I want my hat" and I said "I want my bracelet" and he said "then trade me" and I said "maybe" I just wanted to share that because I have so much power like I don't care about the bracelet it's not even mine. But he wore it out because he thought is was mine!! Sorry to get like this. Brad is just a friend BUT I like to flirt with him and I hate when other girls flirt with him. Tomorrow is a virtual day so I probably won't write because I don't think anything will happen. But like this diary has been really helping me process my feelings. Like I would never think to write about most of the things in this part, but I really does help. Anyway goodnight.