my diary

Nov 30 2021

so we had an assembly in 7th hour today. when we were walking back to our class, ms barsh, a teacher I joke around with all the time, was saying "I'm not the one!" and I said "ms barsh is not the one guys!" I didn't know she was mad. she looked like she was just in a conversation and said that. but my teacher said "Jessie! your gonna have lunch detention tomorrow!" I said "what why?" because to be honest I had been breaking a lot of rules that day and didn't know which one he caught. he said "you know why." and I made a face, trying to think. and he said "just sit here and think about it." and the class went in and he slammed the door. I sat down at a table by the classroom. he went in there and started yelling. this man is the nicest man ever! I've never heard him yell at all, much less that loud! it's been a while since I've heard ANYONE yell that loud. the last time would actually be when I lived with my dad. after he was done with them, he came out to me. he was a little more calm now. he said "you know to be serious when a teacher is being serious." he could tell I still didn't know what he was talking about. so he said "ms Barsh.. blah blah blah." after class, Samantha was in such a good mood, I felt bad to be in a bad mood around her. I told her how it reminded me of being at my dad's house. she said she was gonna talk to him, I didn't think it was gonna work. when we were waiting for the bus, Samantha talked to him. later, he called me over to talk to him. he basically said I don't have to have detention!! yay!! aj was sitting at my table again. seeing him just makes me kinda want him. but I'm smarter than that. I know what's good for me. I can't end up like my mom. I can't be stuck in a 17 year marriage with a horrible person. I know that I need to stay away from him. I sorta have feelings for him. I can't act on them. I need to stay away from him so they go away. I'm too smart to get hung up on him. I'm not saying that I'm gonna marry him and end up like my mom, but I gotta start early knowing the boys who I need to stay away from. and I'm not gonna let HIM out of all people hurt me.