You Never Asked (Completed)

"Kya Mai Tere Layak Hu??"

     They boarded a flight from Guwahati at eleven in the morning. Sid was having breakfast in the restaurant of the hotel earlier. Sana was nowhere to be seen. They were to leave for the airport immediately after breakfast. Arun was talking to the cameraman.
Sid: Arun...
Arun came running towards Sid.
Arun: Yes boss??
Sid: Tumne kaha tha ke immediately breakfast ke baad nikalna hai. Sab ready hai??
Arun: Jee sir sab ready hai.
Sid: Sab nhi dekh rahe hai??
Arun: Vo Sana madam pehle he airport chale gaye.
Sid: Kyu??
Arun: Pata nhi. Kaha ke vo jaa rahi hai. Aur aap log pahuch jaana.
Sid: Vaise mai sirf Sana ka nhi puch raha tha. Bahot log nhi dekhe isliye pucha.
Arun: Baki sab yahi hai
Abhi niklege.
Sid: Chalo fir hum bhi nikalte hai.
Arun: Sir aapka breakfast??
Sid: Ho gaya. Chalo.
     Sana was sitting in the lobby flipping through a magazine. She was very hurt with Sid's behavior last night. What had she done wrong?? Was he going to punish her all her life for keeping Zoro's existence a secret from him?? Then why did he agree to marry her?? Was their relationship always going to be like this all the time. Zoro is suffering and getting pulled from both sides, just because his parents are not able to resolve their differences. She had cried and cried and fallen asleep. She woke up the next morning and decided to avoid him as much as possible, if this is what he wants. But you need to sit and talk to him. You need to make him understand that this strained relationship of theirs is affecting Zoro. Then what should she do?? Should she beg him to marry her. That man is not even looking at her. She is also pissed off now. She was not in mood for any encounter with him. So she had come early and sat here.
     Sid saw her sitting in the lobby lost in thought. He did not go to her, but sat far away from her. Their flight was announced and they boarded the flight. The team reached Pasighat airport at 12:25 in the afternoon. It then took them almost two hours to reach Damro-Gidem by road. Sana was in a Innova with other members of the team. Sid along with Arun was in another car. She had went and sat in the vehicle as soon as they came out of the airport. Not wanting to give anyone a chance to ask her to join Sid.     
        It was three in the afternoon when the team reached the hotel. The team checked in at The Yamne Ebor Eco lodge. The lodge is a quaint place that beckons you and is situated near Yamne river in Damro. Known for it's peace and tranquility, the lodge, houses pretty cottages. It is surrounded by a lovely forest known for its Gaur, a bison that has been trained to come out in the open with the promise of some salt. Each cottage offers a grand view of the valley. They all were too tired. The shoot was schedule for the next morning. All were to do whatever they please for the rest of the day. Everyone had lunch in the dinning Hall. Sana not once looked at Sid. Nor Sid at Sana. They went to their respective rooms to take rest.
      It was five in the evening when Sana got a call from the director. He and his assistant had gone to view the place where the shooting was to take place. The local authorities were creating some issues regarding the shoot the next day. Sana got ready and came out of the room to find Sid in the courtyard of his cottage opposite to hers. He looked his way. Sana started walking towards the path which led her to the gate. She stopped when he called her name.
Sid: Sana?? Kaha jaa rahi hai tu??
She did not turn around.
Sana: Vo kal ke shoot related issues hai kuch.... Isliye.
Sid: Mai chalta hu.
She turned and looked at him.
Sana: Nahi.
Sid: I'm coming...
Sana: Please. Zabardasti ka koi issue nhi chahiye mujhe. Mai dekhti hu.
     She turned and walked off. He called Arun's number.
Sid: Arun, kuch issue hua hai shayad kal ke shooting related. Sana has left. Tu bhi jaa uske sath. Jaldi.
Arun: Yes boss. Abhi jaata hu.
     It's been almost seven thirty. Sid has been pacing the floor. Arun and Sana has not come back. Their mobiles are not reachable. Sid inquired with other members of the team who were present in the cottage. Nobody was able to trace them. The assistant director's phone was not reachable too. Sid was so restless he was about to throw his mobile in frustration. But then stopped himself. He was so worried that tears started forming in his eyes, when his mobile buzzed. It was Arun.
Sid: Arun??? Kaha hai yaar?? Is everything ok?? Where is Sana??
Arun: Sir everything is ok now. Kuch issue ho gaya tha. But we are alright.
Sid: Issue?? Kya hua?? Tu pehle meri Sana se baat karva.
Arun: Sir.....hum on the way hai. Bas hotel pahuch he rahe hai.
Sid: Arun mujhe isse minute Sana se baat karne hai. Give her the fu...ing phone.
Arun: Sir..... She is in little pain now. I don't think she will be able to speak.
Sid: Pain??? Kya hua hai Sana ko Arun??
Arun: Someone stabbed her sir.
      Sid felt his heart throbbing in his chest.
Sid: What did you just say?? Stabbed?? Arun tum log kaha ho. I'm coming now.
Arun: Boss hum abhi das minute me pahuch jaayenge. Aur aise bahot nhi laga hai. Bas thoda sa cut aaya hai.
Sid: Who did this to her Arun?? I will kill that bastard.
Arun: Relax sir. Everything is taken care of. Hum bas pahuch rahe hai. Mai aakar batata hu.
     Sid disconnected the call and ran towards the gate. His hands and legs shivered. Arun has said she is ok. But he cannot relax until he sees her. He then saw a car coming his way. The car halted at the gate. Sid saw Sana in the back seat with the director. Arun was in the front with the driver. Sid ran and opened the door for Sana. He looked at her pale face and gave his hand. She did not take it, but got down without his support. She winced as she must have felt the pain.
Sid: Sana?? Jaana?? Are you ok??
Sana: Yeh kya hotel me announcement hue kya?? Arun tum bhi sab kuch sab ko batate ho.
     Sana gave it back. Sid was taken aback. She turned and walked to her cottage, without anyone's support. Sid stood there shocked at her taunt, as she left without a backward glance. Arun came and stood next to Sid. Sid turned to Arun.
Sid: Yeh kaisi hua Arun?? Who stabbed her?? And why??
Arun: Sir kuch locals issue create kar rahe the shooting ko lekar. Hum ne unhe samjhaya aur laut rahe the. Jab hum car ke paas pahuche to vaha ek banda apne wife ko peet raha tha. Usse time mera call aaya to mai thoda side me ho gaya. Sana maam uss bande ko rokne ke liye gayi and pata nhi usne pocket knife nikala aur maam ki taraf bada. Director sir ne usse rokna chaha, par usne unhe zor se dhakka mara. Mai shor sun kar palta aur dekha to usne maam par vaar karne ke liye haat uthaya. Maam ne usko rokne ke leye haat badaya aur uss knife ka point maam ke arm ko slit kar gaya. Maine pahuch kar maam ko vaha se hataya aur uske hath se chaaku chuda di. Do thappad khaate he zameen par gir gaya. Kisi local ne shayad police ko call kiya tha. Aur police usse le gayi. Hum vaha se ek kareeb hospital me maam ko le gaye aur luckily zyada gehra cut nhi tha.
     Sid was pacing the ground by the time Arun had finished telling him everything. He ran his hand on his face and hair.
Sid: Kya Arun?? Tumko dhyaan rakhna chahiye tha na?? Maine Sana ka khayaal rakhne ke liye bheja tha na?? Tum apne call me lag gaye.... Mujhe he uske sath jaana chahiye tha. My mistake.
Arun: Sir....
Sid: I want that bastard properly punished. Am I clear Arun??
Arun: Yes boss, abhi thodi der me mujhe aur director saheb ko bulaya hai police station. Witness ke taur par. Aap tension mat le. I know how to handle this.
Sid: Ok...
Arun: Sir aapko Sana maam ke paas hona chahiye. Unhe zyada lagi nhi hai, par vo darr gayi hai.
Sid: Hmmm
     And Sid walked towards Sana's room. He entered inside to find her sitting on the bed, her eyes closed, resting her back to the pillow. She opened her eyes and he saw pain and fear in her eyes.
     Sana opened her eyes to see Sid standing in the doorway. He looked scared. Sana saw him walk towards her. She knew how he must be feeling. He too must be in pain seeing her like this. He came and stood near the bed close to her.
Sid: Dard ho raha hai??
Sana: Thoda.
     He sat on the bed next to her and lifted his hand to touch her wound, but then took it back. He bend his head and Sana saw tears streaming from his eyes.
Sana: Siddharth..... Siddharth mai thek hu.
     Sana pulled him to her with her other hand and he went in her embrace crying out loud.
Sana: Siddharth pagal hai kya tu?? Meri taraf dekh. Dekh mujhe kuch nhi hua hai...
     Sid came out of her embrace and looked at her with tears stricken face.
Sid: Aur agar ho jaata to??
Sana: Par...
Sid: Mai marr jaata jaana.... Agar tujhe kuch ho jaata na to mai to marr jaata.
     Sana brought her hand to his cheek and wiped his tears.
Sana: Shhh.... Aise mat bol baby. Kuch nhi hua hai.
     He looked in her eyes and got lost. The hand on his cheek, stroking it was sending electric current to his body. He suddenly came back from his trance and stood up, walking out of the room.
     Sana was shocked and hurt by his sudden withdrawal. What is happening here?? Why is he behaving like this?? This has to stop. They really need to sit and talk. The situation is getting worse day by day. She cannot bear his rejection on daily basis. And most importantly they have a child to consider. She got up and walked to his room. She barged in and found him standing facing the window. He turned around and looked at her in surprise. He rushed towards her.
Sid: Jaana tujhe lagi hai. Tu yaha kya kar rahi hai?? Tujhe aaraam karna chahiye....
Sana: Shut up Siddharth.
     And he went quiet.
Sana: Tu vaha se kyu chala aaya?? Kya chal raha hai tere dimag me??
Sid: Kuch nhi.
     He said avoiding her eyes...
Sid: Sana Tu jaa... Apne kamre me jaa. Please mujhe pareshan mat kar...
Sana: Accha.... To mai pareshaan kar rahi hu tujhe?? Yeh dusri baar hai, jo tu mujhe apne kamre se jaane ko keh raha hai. Ab nhi aaungi.
     She started moving towards the door when he caught her by shoulder and pulled her body towards him. He rested his forehead on her shoulder encircling his arms around her being careful with her injured arm.
Sid: Kya karu mai Jaana, kya karu...
     Sana turned in his arms and looked at him.
Sana: Kya hua hai tujhe Siddharth?? Pichle kahi dino se, tu meri aakho me dekhta tak ke nhi. Mujhe pata hai mujh se galti ho gayi hai. Zoro ki sacchai nhi bata saki mai. Par baby teri yeh berukhi mujhe andar se khatm kar rahi hai. Please mat kar mere sath aise..
     She started crying and he took her face in his hands.
Sid: Aise ro mat na please. Mujhse dekha nhi jaata...
Sana: To mujhe bata to sahi ke tu mujhse dur kya bhag raha hai??
Sid: Kya bolu...
Sana: Siddharth tujhe meri kasam. Bol.
    He moved back, turned away from her. There was silence in the room. Sana waiting but then grew impatient.
Sana: Siddharth.....
     He turned towards her and looked  in her eyes
Sid: Jaana tu mujhse shikayat kyu nhi karti?? Tu mujhse kabhi naraz kyu nhi hoti?? Maine tere sath kitna galat kiya. Tujhe chod kar chala gaya, peeche mood kar dekha bhi nhi. Cheh saal tak tune hamare bacche ko akele sambhala. Aur cheh saal baad mai aakar tujhe bura bhala bolta raha, teri insult karta raha. Par tu mujhe se naraz nhi hue. Mai chahta hu ki tu mujhe gussa kare, mujhe daate, mujhe gaaliya de. Kyuki nhi to yeh guilt mujhe maar daalega. Har roz apne aap ko kosta hu. Par vo kafi nhi hai. Tu Muje kose, tu mujhe chillaye, to fir shayad mera guilt kam ho.
     Sana took a step forward
Sana: Siddharth, tu yeh aise kyu sooch raha hai?? Mujhe tujhse koi shikayat nhi hai.
Sid: Kyu nhi hai?? Tujhe honi chahiye. Mujhe to ab yeh feel ho raha hai ke mai tere layak he nhi hu. You deserve a better person than me. I don't deserve you. Tu agar mujhse shadi na karna chahe to....
Sana: Kya?? Tu idhar aa. Idhar bait.
     She made him sit on the sofa. They both had forgotten about Sana's injury. Sana sat pulling a stool with one hand, opposite him. She took his hand in her's.
Sana: Siddharth mere taraf dekh??
     He looked up at her and then looked away.
Sana: Siddharth tujhe pata hai, hum dono ke iss rishte ne mujhe bahot dukh diye hai.
     Sid nodded in agreement.
Sana: Puri baat sun meri. Iss rishte ne hum dono ko bahot dukh diye hai. Par iss rishte ne ya tune jo mujhe khushi de hai na, vo mujhe kahi nhi mili. Tune mujhe bahot pyar kiya hai Siddharth. Be inteha pyar. Tune jitna pyar mujhe kiya hai na.... Aisa pyar na mujhe kisine kiya hai aur na koi kar paayega.
     Sid looked in her eyes...
Sid: Sach?? Kya tu mere liye aisa feel karti hai??
Sana: Mai tere liye kya feel karti hu, yeh kya batau mai tujhe jaan meri. Tu kehta hai na mai shikayat nhi karti?? Mujhe teri haar baat acchi lagti hai. To kya shikayat karu?? Mujhe tera rutna accha lagta hai, fir manana accha lagta hai, tera gussa, aur bahot zyada pyar. Yeh sab accha lagta hai. Aur yeh ab tera rondu chehra bhi mujhe bahot accha lagta hai.
     Sid chuckled, but then got serious.
Sid: Jaana kya mai tere layak hu??
Sana: Baby sirf tu he mere layak hai.
     Sana sat on his lap and tried encircling her arms around him but winced in pain. Sid looked at her face and remembered her wounded arm. He looked at it.
Sid: Jaana.... Oh shit. Mai bhul he gaya tha.... Tu chal udhar aaraam se bed par bait.
     He picked her in his arms and lay her on the bed. He then stood looking at her. Sana stretched her other hand towards him.
Sana: Aa idhar aa mere pass.
    He let out a heavy breath and went and lay next to her. She rested her head on his chest.
Sana: Siddharth, mujhe tu he chahiye. Sirf tu. Samjha??
Sid: Hmmm.
    They both lay in each other arms enjoying the silence.
Sid: Jaana teri dawai kidhar hai?? Tujhe kab leni hai??
Sana: Dinner ke baad.
Sid: Dinner mangvau tere liye??
Sana: Nahi abhi bas aise he reh. Kahi mat jaa.
Sid: Par baby...
Sana: Siddharth please, bas thodi der.
Sid: Ok.
    He said and kissed her hair. She let out a breath in relief and closed her eyes.
     It was nine thirty at night and Sana was still sleeping in Sid's arms. In that span of an hour, Sid had many times stopped himself from waking Sana up and kissing her full lips, nuzzling and biting her neck, shifting lower and taking her breast in his hand and suckling her nipples, until she moans and beg him to make love to her. He doesn't know from where he brought such self control and did not do it. She snuggled closer and then gave a small cry when her arm gave her pain.
    Sid understood it's time for her to wake up and have her dinner and medicines. He bend his head and kissed her cheek.
Sid: Jaana..... Utho baby..... You need to eat something.
Sana: Mmmm. Abhi nhi...
Sid: Haa abhi. Chal uth kar fresh ho jaa. Mai khana order karta hu. Tere medicines kaha hai?? Le aata hu mai.
Sana: Purse me hai. Aur ha mera mobile bhi le aa.
    He pulled himself from her and turned to the intercom kept on the table near the bed. He ordered dinner and turned around to see her getting up from the bed and walking to the bathroom.
Sid: Kuch help chahiye??
    Sana looked at him and shook her head. She went into the bathroom and shut the door. Sana freshen herself and came out to find Sid entering the room her medicines and mobile in hand.. She looked awkwardly at Sid.
Sid: Kya hua??
Sana: Vo....
     He kept the medicines on the table, came to her and took her face in his hand. He made her look in his eyes
Sid: Kya hua??
Sana: Vo pant ka button nhi laga....
     Sid brought his hands to her abdomen and took hold of her pant button. The brush of his finger on her skin made her gasp. He pulled the end near the button and inserted in its eye. He was still looking in her eyes. There was a knock on the door. He then looked away and took the step back.
Sid: Dinner aa gaya.....