Chapter 11: Ellie

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The quiet sound the door click made behind me sounded deafening in the silence that filled our apartment, like Wes had sucked all the life out of the small space. The fact that someone who, at one point, knew me better than I knew myself now stood right in front of me hit me like a smack in the face. The reminder crashed into the reality that I hadn't seen him in two years and wasn't sure how much he'd changed. The resulting impact left me stunned silent and I just gaped at him like a fan who'd met their favorite celebrity.

The longer Logan and I stared at each other and the more weight I felt from his intensely beautiful ocean blue eyes, the thicker and more uncomfortable the airspace between us became.

So awkward. Say something, Ellie. Anything.

I mentally facepalmed myself when I also realized that, despite an extremely embarrassing dildo discovery, I hadn't actually said hi to the guy.

"Oh gosh." My palms lifted up to my forehead, where I held them for a breath then peeked out between my fingers at him. "I'm sorry... Hi. I didn't actually say that earlier, so... Hi Logan."

His ridiculously muscular chest and shoulders bounced slightly while he chuckled. "Hi Ellie. Or should I call you Mrs. -"

"Ellie is fine," I assured him with a sharp exhale, then studied his face for familiarity. Certain features, like his cheekbones and jawline were more prominent and a tiny scar near the left corner of his mouth was new, but the mix of warmth and confidence that flowed out of his eyes hadn't changed.

What also hadn't changed was how my body reacted to his presence and, unfortunately, I felt worse. A flutter of nerves bundled inside my stomach, my heart thumped faster in my chest, and a slight dryness crept up the back of my throat. A more than slight discomfort ran through me and I resisted an urge to squirm under the scrutiny of his gaze on me. He still had the most beautiful eyes, which reminded me of the bluest ocean.

Why couldn't he have gotten less attractive? It's borderline insultingly unfair.

His face broke out into a soft, almost tender smile that pulled a tightness in my chest. "I'm glad it's still Ellie."

The weight of what his words implied crashed downward in my mind. Six years ago, during my freshman year after Ryder's assault, he dragged 'Ellie' through Santa Cruz High School's gossip mud. I changed my nickname to Elle but my parents and Jake still called me Ellie. After Logan himself pulled me out of my reclusive shell our senior year, I went by Ellie again.

And he's the only one on campus who knows that.

"Some things haven't changed." I returned his smile with one of my own, which faded quickly at the unfortunate truth, "But some things have."

Since we both realized we still stood right by the door, Logan directed his gaze to our awful, ugly sofa. "Like what?"

"Says the guy who's gained, what, twenty pounds?" I pretended I bended way backwards and craned my neck to look up at him. "Did you grow any taller too?"

"Hilarious," he scoffed and walked with me over to the sofa, where both of us grimaced once we sat down and a few springs groaned under our weight. On the way over, he grinned and asked, "Wasn't I supposed to carry you over the threshold?" which only earned him my hand swatted into his nearest bicep.

Unfortunately, how I sat closer to Logan felt ten times worse in the discomfort department than when we'd stood near the doorway. His left knee on his long leg was inches from mine even though he sat in the opposite corner of the loveseat sofa. His closer proximity, his fresh scent and warm, casual demeanor overwhelmed me that much more.

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