Chapter 48: Ellie

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With one quick smash, my lips were on Logan's. I'd instigated the kiss but my heart still jolted like someone had smashed electroshock paddles onto my chest upon contact. His soft and warm lips felt better than the last time we'd kissed.

While our last kiss was gentle, this one was anything but. My lips pressed tightly and nipped angrily at his and, after a brief moment of stilled shock, he matched my movements with the same elevated vigor and his mouth unleashed the same frustration that rolled through me and grated on every last nerve.

What was I thinking? This doofus right here is the only one I want.

After I threw the flowers back at James and waited for his exit, I rushed after Logan. His uncertainty in which direction he wanted slowed his pace and I caught up with him within five minutes. His long legs made easier steps than mine but I rushed half a block behind him like a stalker and gathered up my best 'I'm sorry, you were right' words.

When he stopped at the Zeta Tau Epsilon house, my feet rooted to the ground as memories from freshman year filtered through my mind. My shoulders slumped, warmth filled my cheeks as my chin dipped down to my chest, and a slight heavy sensation weighed down my arms and legs. A slight chill ran through my body, not from the night air but an internal source like I'd dipped my bones in icy water.

The laughs, whispers and pointed fingers, the taunts echoed in the back of my mind.

What was I thinking?

Never have I been so glad for Charlie, Wes, Monique, and Darrius being in my life.

I closed my eyes briefly, subdued the memories and emotions they still brought up for later overthinking, and focused on why I was actually here this time. Once I opened my eyes, like a horrendous car accident that'd been moved over to the shoulder of the road, they couldn't tear away from the scene in front of me where Lydia and Angel both disgustingly raked their bodies all over him.

One look, one blink actually, flipped my emotions like a switch. My icy bones melted as my nostrils flared and I pushed out a small huff.Microscopic trembles ran down my arms, straight down to my fingertips, which curled inward until my nails cut into the soft flesh in my palms. The tight strain in my wrists was followed by a wildfire rash of heat that engulfed my skin from the inside out.

The hell is this!? Of all girls on campus, why them? Why here!?

I'm so angry, I'm so... jealous.

A pain that stung in my cheek snapped my attention. When a metallic taste hit my tongue, I realized I'd bitten myself.

I feel sick.

My fists squeezed tighter and I bit down hard into my lower lip with every laugh the girls had cackled into the night air, how their fingers ran over his arms, chest, neck, and face. From a few steps back, I only saw the back of Logan's head but their entire faces were lit up in excitement, arousal, and attraction like they were starving and Logan was a five-star meal laid out in front of them.

A nauseous feeling rolled through my stomach when the muscles in the back of Logan's neck stiffened as Lydia and Angel shamelessly dragged their lips all over the sides of his neck. Four eyes opened and curled upwards into half-moon shapes at me, their different shades of blue illuminated by black, full-blown pupils.

In the back of my mind, a faint warning signal fired off. I had no right to feel like this, no claim to Logan. In fact, I'd dumped him right into their front lawn.

He deserves to be happy.

He should be with someone who unconditionally trusts him, doesn't place roadblocks for him to clear or hurts him, even inadvertently, with the dangled possibility of anyone else.

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