Chapter 51: Ellie

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I woke up the next morning, on the new sofa with a slightly stiff neck and funny taste in my mouth that wasn't related to the blow job I'd given Logan last night. In contrast, my body felt warm with a satisfied content. A dull ache throbbed the less I wondered if a walk of shame was possible from within my own place and the more I replayed us in the shower last night in my mind.

Was that wrong? It felt so good, but shit, if I'm asking then it must have been.

I wasn't at all embarrassed by what we'd done and, if anything, I wanted to do it over and over, plus more. The digger I dug down though, I surfaced the reason that fueled my reactions. The fact that jealousy instigated by other girls who'd probably offered Logan the same services drove my and his physical intimacy rose bile up the back of my throat.

Am I just like them?

Should I -

"Ellie?" Logan stepped out of the bedroom, fully dressed in jeans and a long-sleeved shirt for class.

In place of his normal smirk, his mouth pulled into a true, genuine smile that flashed not just his teeth but a rare, more modest, and dare I guessed shy, side of Logan. When relaxed and calm, not an ounce of his usual cockiness, he really was the most handsome guy I'd ever seen.

And I'll give him ten more blow jobs to see that truly happy smile.

My own smile faded as my earlier doubts related to last night resurfaced. While he approached me, I studied him for any sign or hint that he was uncomfortable but came up short. In fact, the only reactions stirred inside me were a quickened heartbeat and warmth in my cheeks.

We should talk about it though. At least clear my mental air.

"I'm sorry, Logan," I blurted out right away and sat upright on the sofa. My lower lip rolled under and I mentally facepalmed myself at the idea he assumed I regretted last night because that's exactly what my words implied.

"For last night?" Just like I'd feared, that beautiful smile faded, his forehead tensed, and he raked one hand through his hair. "Sorry, I shouldn't have stripped down like my clothes were on fire. I was teasing and thought at one point maybe we should've stopped, but -"

"Oh gosh, you regret it?" I cringed at that idea and pressed my hands into my now extremely warm cheeks.

"What? No. No." He sat down next to me, grabbed my hands, and pulled them in between us. With a firm but gentle squeeze of his thumbs into my palms, he emphasized, "No. But I'd be lying if I didn't have extra satisfaction in knowing I got more than James... or any other guy you feel like dating around with."

My shoulders slumped at the sting in his words, which weren't wrong, combined with the irritation that threaded between them.

"I don't want any other guy," I muttered with a returned hand squeeze and a smile I couldn't have held back if I'd tried. "But I... me too."

Before he answered, my word vomit took over and I rushed out, "I enjoyed it, a lot. I mean, really really enjoyed it but I'm sorry. I guess we should've talked first."

Stop rambling, Ellie.

"We are moving ass-backwards a little, but I get it. I am pretty irresistible, especially naked." He flashed me a brief smirk before one of his hands smoothed a messy strand of hair across my forehead. His voice was soft and eyes serious when he added, "Seriously though, I'm trying to go at your pace here Ellie, but the mixed signals aren't helping."

"I know, you're right." I sighed quietly because, again, he was right and the truth hurt. "I'm a mess. You're perfect and who I want, I just -"

His loud, hearty laugh cut me off. "Far from it, Ellie. I left so I didn't smash James' teeth into chicklets. And believe me, that sorority house, with them, was the last place I wanted to be."

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