Chapter 26: Logan

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Kitchen-trashing habits aside, Ellie was right about the meat stew she'd made for Thursday's lunch since I'd eaten every last piece of fungus on my plate then practically drooled for seconds. I saw what she'd put in it but had no idea how it tasted so good. With my content, full stomach, I passed out fast asleep for what was now my routine, pre-practice nap.

While we dated, Ellie repeatedly showed how much she cared through her actions. She had few friends in high school but those closest to her she fiercely loved, including me at one point. I hadn't realized until she wasn't in my life anymore how quietly but strongly she had loved me, either her support at my home and away games, how she cooked for me and Mom, even how she hadn't minded when we just chilled out at home with a movie Friday nights.

When Ellie takes care of someone, you just feel... loved.

Once our physical relationship progressed, we had a lot less movies and more heated experiences. While parts of me definitely missed that, the background warmth and support from Ellie's love was the first, and most painful, thing I noticed after we broke up. My life felt emptier and darker, like the sun hadn't shone as much and the lightness in me turned into a hardened pain that time hadn't completely removed. Occasionally the same pain twisted in my chest when I looked at her now, so close and yet guarded and so far.

Our current situation wasn't what I wanted but my life was already improved with Ellie in it. Even just as friends, or roommates, Ellie still had the same warm, caring heart. After just days on her food, I already felt a physical difference. My body felt lighter, almost cleaner during our practices and weight sessions.

The offensive guys worked on faster timing and started to make some adjustments. The receivers, especially Wes and Seth, and runningbacks Javon Weller and D'Angelo Jones, caught on first. Coach Vaughn was right, they'd played under their levels of potential. The offensive line's timing we still worked on, but today Emmitt took over on the offense in prep for Saturday's game and my ass was resigned to the bench.

I hadn't known until Emmitt missed practice but he'd suffered a slight ankle sprain over the summer. During the practice I'd led the offense through, he'd gone in for x-rays and an MRI to get it double-checked but obviously was cleared to play Saturday.

When I got out to my truck after Thursday's practice, my phone buzzed with a text message. A frown creased my forehead once I read over the words.

Dad: Trying to come up for one of your games this season, let me know when you're starting.

Non-starter aside, completely unnecessary.

After my parents divorced and Dad took my younger brother Brody, I was a jaded, angry twelve-year old. I'd blamed his drinking problem, which he'd sobered up a few years later after he wrapped his car around a tree, for why our family broke up. While Ellie and I dated, within four months he'd selfishly met, dated, moved in with, and got engaged to not just a girl who was twenty years younger but also Ellie's cousin Madison.

In a dramatic moment that I still didn't understand, Madison stood Dad up at the altar. She'd used some excuse that they'd rushed into the relationship and she wasn't ready to be fully committed yet. Despite how they lived together another six months, they parted quickly and I hadn't heard anything about her since.

Six weeks later, Dad rebounded almost immediately and not long after I hadn't asked about Madison, Brody filled me in about Olivia. At twenty-seven, she was an administrative assistant at the tech company Dad worked for in Silicon Valley. Olivia seemed polite enough, made Dad happy, and another quick-paced relationship developed. This one apparently was a better fit since they'd gotten married last year in a small, private ceremony on the beach behind Dad's house in Santa Cruz that both Brody and I attended with tight-lipped smiles and desire that we were anywhere else at that moment.

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