A Second Chance (Marco x Fem Reader)

Chapter 38

The room was silent as the squad ate some field rations inside the merchant warehouse from earlier. It was dark, a simple lantern in the middle of the circle was the only light source.

You nibbled on the corner of your food, your stomach still sensitive after today's events. To your left sat Armin, staring at nothing, completely frozen. He hadn't even as much as raised his food to his mouth. You shuddered as a flash memory of the woman beneath you showed itself again, then left as quick as it came. Marco took it as a sign that you were cold and didn't even hesitate draping his own cloak over your shoulders.

"What's wrong?", Levi asked after inspecting both your facial expressions. "This grimy place kill your appetite?".

"No...", Armin answered before you could even look up at Levi. "Jean, there's something I don't understand...". Jean's head jerked up by the mentioning of his name, looking visibly stressed, however his voice was calm.

"What's that?"

"When I shot that gun to save you... I honestly thought I didn't make it in time. Sorry but... Why was I the one who shot first?". Your eyes widened a bit and Jean's head cowered in guilt.

"That's...", Jean started saying with his head bowed.

"Because the other person hesitated", Levi shot in.

"Armin, I'm sorry... I should have done what I had to do. Like you and Y/N", Jean apologised, visibly upset with himself for not killing the lady when he had the chance. You brought your knees closer to your chest, feeling Marco's arm snake around you to bring you closer to him. None of you had really talked about what happened until now. The rest of the day after they got Eren and Historia passing in painful silence, allowing you to beat yourself up more and more by the minute.

"I know what it is... The person that I killed... I bet they were a nice person", Armin said with a soft but sad voice. Your breath hitched. That was exactly what you had been thinking! You felt Marco's gaze on you, but you didn't meet it. You kept yours on Armin, curious as to what else he was going to say. "Someone that was much more human than I am... I pulled the trigger so easily... I did...". You felt the trickling, warm feeling of tears roll down your cheeks, and turned to bury your face into Marco's side, as to hide it. Your attempt failed as Armin and the others looked your way. "Y/N?", he asked carefully.

"Me too", was all you said after struggling to find your voice.

"Huh?"

"When I threw those knives... I didn't even think twice about it before I carried on. And that... woman...", your voice faltered as you mentioned her. "I- Who knows who they were. She was terrified!". You didn't manage to say anything else, inching closer to Marco to which he responded by wrapping his other arm around you and lean his head on top of yours.

"Armin, Y/N. You've got blood on your hands now. You can't go back to who you were", Levi suddenly spoke. You could feel Marco tense up and you lifted your head from his shoulder to look at Levi.

"Why would you say that?", Mikasa asked, worked up.

"Embrace the new you. Just think; if your hands were still clean... Jean wouldn't be here right now". The gravity of his words were not to be mistaken as you pictured the crate Jean was currently sitting on being empty. "Same goes for you Y/N. If you hadn't defended yourself you might have winded up shot. Or if you hadn't taken down that woman, she might have managed to pull the trigger faster than the others; Marco, Jean, Armin and Sasha being in range of her bullet". Your eyes widened as you took everything he said into consideration.

'That's true... And I would never claim Armin to be a bad person for what he did, why would my situation be any different?'

"I'll tell you guys why you pulled that trigger and threw those knives.. Because your comrades were about to die. Because someone wanted to see you and your friends dead, not giving you any second thought the way you two are giving them right now. Thanks to you two getting blood on your hands, nobody on our squad ended up dead. Thank you", he said sincerely, his words leaving a feeling of security and meaning inside you and Armin. It finally felt like you could breathe again. Marco sensed it and placed a loving kiss on the top of your head when no one was looking.