Breakdown - SJ

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Thank you so much for this request and being so kind about it! I appreciate small things like this so much so thank you again x

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Thank you so much for this request and being so kind about it! I appreciate small things like this so much so thank you again x

Warnings: Panic attacks, sadness, angst, swearing, mentions of abuse & misuse of alcohol. I know I said I wouldn't add warnings anymore but this feels necessary. READER IS 16 :)


Y/Ns's POV

Safe to say after filming for many, many, many months, the last few weeks are always exhausting. Not to mention I am aware I haven't been myself since my dad started drinking again because mum died. I definitely do not feel safe at home anymore, especially since mum isn't there to protect me. Dad never would hurt mum but he'd slap me in a heartbeat, what does that tell you about his parenting? However even though mum died many years ago, his drinking ahs only just gotten significantly worse and he blames it on the fact mum is dead. I've kinda been clinging to Scarlett to treat me like a daughter again.

Only since dad's been drinking again though I've been pushing everyone away. The last thing I want is another 2 years of my life just in court fighting against my fathers case of abuse whilst mum rotted with Alzheimer's in a hospital bed (OMG i spelt Alzheimer's right first time *high five me*).

Soon after he was found not guilty, mum died and dad blamed it on my negligence even though I saw the exact moment my mum forgot me. No I don't understand how his brain works and no I don't understand why he goes back to this just because he wants to feel somewhat important and no I have no idea why he didn't learn his lesson the first time. This time though, I decided to keep my mouth shut about it all. It wasn't worth the stress on top of work as well. And now everywhere I go everyone asks me if I'm okay. As if I'm going to turn around to someone and say "Fuck off you don't know me don't ask if I'm okay" but instead I turn to the random crew member I've never seen in my life and respond "Yeah, you?" Because ain't know way I'm just going to scream out if I'm okay or not to everyone and their nan.


Scarlett's POV

Something is wrong with Y/N. I've worked with her long enough and known her long enough to know when she is upset. Only this time she's pushing everyone away and doesn't put as much enthusiasm into the work than what she normally does.

Me and Evans were sat chatting in the make-up trailer when Y/N comes in. She puts her earphones in and sits down on her chair, next to mine, with a big sigh. "Hey Y/N" Evans starts, "We got a big scene later so prepare yourself, yeah?" He tells her with the most reassuring smile I think I've ever seen him do. Everyone cares about her and It's clear to everyone except for her. "Yup. Got it. Big scene." She replied bluntly whilst also doing jazz hands to emphasise the words 'big scene'. It was sarcastic though and that was clear to both me and Chris were taken aback by her behaviour.

Y/N always, ALWAYS, puts others before her and the last time I saw her act like this was when her dad- was... Shit? It's not happening again is it? No she promised me that she would tell me if anything was remotely wrong.

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