Natasha Romanoff x Fem reader One-shots

Attempt - NR

So basically this is sad and only because I'm a sad individual.

Warnings: attempted suicide, self harm, very deep depression, soft Nat. Y/N is 16 but not Nat's daughter

Nat's POV

The day started out like any other, everyone did their training that they needed to do, breakfast was a relatively fun period because we were making fun on Bucky's impression of Thor. It only changed when I realised it was 1pm and I hadn't seen Y/N all day. She had already been distancing herself recently and yet she is always awake by at least 10am. One in the afternoon is far from normal for her.

I parted myself from the group sat on the sofa and made my way up to Y/N's room. I ensured to knock lightly a few times before letting myself in, just in case she was getting out the shower or wanted to be alone. But rather I was met with the 16 year-old Y/H/C girl sleeping, wearing large hoodie of mine with the hood up. I slowly walked towards her bed, careful not to be too loud and wake her up abruptly. Sitting myself on her bed, I looked down at Y/N and saw the bags under her eyes and this told me that she goes to bed quite late now to try and get out of the day. I began to slowly shake her shoulders and whisper things like, 'Baby, it's time to get up now' or 'Come on sweetheart'. The first movement she made was to move her hand up to hold mine. "Hey Nat..." She whispered, keeping a firm hold on my hand. "Let's get you up missy, it's 1pm already and we don't want to miss out on our Netflix meeting we arranged for half an hour." I smirked. A small smile rested upon her face and she told me to go wait downstairs for her.

As I got downstairs, everyone had dispersed into their own worlds. Meaning when Y/N came downstairs we would have the whole living room to watch something. Soon after I sat down Y/N came down with the same hoodie on but she had obtained some grey tracksuit bottoms. I chuckled slightly at her wearing my hoodie but she describes it as like 'wearing your mum's clothes but only the comfortable nice looking ones'.

The young girl snuggled into me and I held her closely, whilst I pulled up the blanket to cover us both. I let her pick out the movie to watch and she decided on 'Zombieland'. One way me and Y/N got so close is because we always watch horror movies together and find enjoyment out of it. Whereas today, she has this blank look on her face for most of the movie. I know something is wrong but lets be honest, she could just be tired or having a bad day.

Once that film was finished I suggested us to watch another film only to discover that she had dozed off, with her head nuzzled into my neck. I silently 'awed' at the sight of her before putting on 'Futurama' but with the sound down low in an attempt to not wake her. During every joke made I would correct myself if I laughed too loud and I would glance down at her every now and again. I looked down at her one more time, but I saw her sleeve was slightly rolled up. I went to adjust it but her arm shot away from mine. I chose to not question it but she has never done that before, especially whilst she was sleeping.

Soon enough she lifted her head up and looked at me. Our eyes met and she gave me a small smile. Behind her eyes though was not the bright glare I've grown to know and love but rather they look dull and unresponsive. "Y/N, are you alright sweetheart?" I asked her genuinely concerned at her behaviour recently. "Yeah..." She dragged out the word as she put her head back down onto me as I rubbed her shoulder with one hand. "I didn't know you liked this show" She commented looking at the TV. "It was all you, and to be honest, like most things that you do, I am thankful for it." I look down at her as I say this and giver her a big smile causing a small spark in her eye to relight for a millisecond before disappearing back to it's decoloured form.

We only watched a couple more episodes before it was time for dinner. I was going to call everyone down, but looking at Y/N, I think the last thing she wants is two 100-year-old men and a 1500 year old god fighting over potatoes. We eventually agreed to make BBQ chicken and rice with vegetables. It only took about 20 minutes to finish. However I noticed another thing different with Y/N. She is usually ecstatic to cook something with me, but this time she didn't seem to be interested at all. I plated up the dinners, giving us both equal and fair portions before sitting down opposite each other. "So, What have you been up to Y/N/N? You're usually in your room all day so I'm just curious." I ask with a polite smile. "Oh I erm... yano. Do things" She replies sheepishly before shoving a whole forkful of food into her mouth to ensure she doesn't have to eat any more. "Right... things"

The rest of the meal was eaten in silence. Something was going on with her and I don't know what. I hate to admit it but I'm scared. She finally comes out of her bat-cave and I notice all these red flags? Something is definitely wrong and I have a bad feeling about it. Y/N washed the dishes then announced she was going to her bedroom. I noticed it was only 9pm so she probably won't be sleeping for a while. I strutted my way back into the living room to see some remaining faces. "Hey Nat" Bucky said with a smile. "I'm guessing the others are in bed?" I asked. Everyone went up to bed early but did their own things in their room for an hour or two before actually sleeping. The only people left downstairs was me, Bucky, Wanda, Tony and Steve. "Yeah, I think I'm going to join them now actually. It's been a long day of work in the Lab" Tony announced. Everyone said their goodnights to him before he left the room.

It was around 10pm when it was just me and Bucky were left. Wanda had gone to 'fill vision's needs' I don't want to know what that meant but I'm glad the walls here are soundproof. Steve went up not long after to get enough sleep for his mission tomorrow. "I think I'm going to turn in for the night, Natasha. You should probably do the same soon" He smiled as he walked away. "I will James, see you tomorrow"

With that I shut off all the lights and walked my way up to Y/N's room to say a quick goodnight. I knocked a few times before letting myself in and I wasn't ready for the situation I was witnessing. There was blood all on her bed alongside a razor blade and Y/N was sat in her window, staring down to the floor. I cleared my throat slightly in an attempt to get her attention without scaring her. When that worked I shut the door behind me before heading towards the blade so that she wouldn't use it on herself anymore. "Y/N, sweetheart. It's me, it's Nat. Why don't you come down from there for me?" I said softly. She shook her head no. This was going to take a while but I'm willing to try for her. "Why not?" I asked with concern coating my words of worry. "It's nicer here than in there..." She admitted. "Well, if you'd like we can go on a stargazing hike tomorrow if that sounds like something you're interested in" With every word I said I could feel myself losing the battle but moving closer to her.

She them suddenly shuffled forward slightly causing me to completely panic. "Okay, baby. Okay... Just- Why don't you come to me, we can watch something on TV together. Like earlier. You enjoyed that right?" She nodded her head slightly, showing me some kind of hope. "What is it you want to watch?" At this point I was so close to her but startle her was the last thing I wanted to do. "Can we watch some old horror movie?" She asked, still looking at the drop below her feet. "Whatever you want sweetheart, just come back in for me..." I attempted once again. This time, her feet came over and she slowly walked towards me. "Can you help these first, Nat?" she questioned, motioning towards the scars of angry red lines across her thighs. "Of course I can. Shall we go into my room? The bed sheets are clean and I know that you are safe in there." She nodded her head and we walked hand-in-hand to my bedroom.

I helped her sit up on my bathroom counter so that I could easily clean her wounds. "There we are, sweetheart... all better." I kissed the scars on her legs and she allowed me to carry her to my bed only I sat her down. I knelt down Infront of her and held her hands. "I know that you don't want to have this conversation but I need you to understand that if anything crosses your mind to do that once again, you come to me okay? I am happy to distract you or help you in any way. Just please never take it out on yourself again. I am not going to ask why, at least not tonight. Do you understand, Y/N?" I ask her. Safe to say I too had let out many tears tonight. She nodded her head and confirmed my words with an 'I promise'. We both laid down and she put on the film 'Psycho'.

The film was only on for 20 minutes before she was asleep in my arms like earlier. This time I kissed her forehead and kept her close to me, my arms secured around her. People don't realise but I love this girl like she is my own and to see her in such a state haunts me. I ordered some private cleaners to do a deep clean of Y/N's whole room, removing anything that she could use to harm herself and to clean all the bloodstains out of her bed. She is never going to be in a state like that again and even if she is, I will be here for her every step of the way.