1. Rainy days

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It's just those rainy days
Spend a lifetime tryna wash away
Until the sun come out and shines again
Smile for me, smile for me.

My eyes fluttered open as the sounds from my alarm clock filled my dark room. I slowly sat up and stretched my arms before tapping the button to turn it off. Getting up from my small twin bed I walked over to the window and looked out of it. Outside looked how I felt, gloomy. Most girls my age would be thrilled to wake up or their 17th birthday but that wasn't the case for me. The only thing special about today was that I was one year closer to being eighteen. As I made my way into the bathroom I cut on the light and starred at myself in the mirror. I looked exactly like what I've been through which was hell. My long natural hair was beyond nappy, my big plump lips were dry and cracked and my brown skin was dry and ashy. I looked and felt like shit. Tired of looking at myself I turned around and prepared to take a quick shower. I always made it quick because I didn't want my step father or the many men he had running in and out of the house to come in on me. Once I was finished I brushed my teeth then quickly made my way back into my bedroom. I didn't have a lot to choose from when it came to clothes so I settled on a pair of washed ripped jeans that I've had for years which were way to small and floods on me. I grabbed a tee shirt my black and white chuck taylors and an oversized hoodie and called it a day. My hair was untamable so I tried my best to just brush it into a messy bun. I dreaded going to school but anything was better than staying in this house. Grabbing my back pack I headed into the living room where I would normally find my step dad passed out on the couch but to my surprise he wasn't there. I didn't plan on sticking around to find out where he was so I made my way out the house and began my journey to school. It was a chilly spring morning and the lite rain that fell from the sky didn't make it any better. I didn't have money for bus fare so walking was my only option. As I walked the streets of Baltimore my mind drifted off to what today would be like if my mother was still alive. I knew she would have woke me up to presents, her beautiful smile and so much love. She died when I was younger of a brain aneurysm, and the moment she left this world my life changed forever. I never met my dad and the only father figure I've known since I was a little girl was my mothers husband Julian. He was always so good to me and my mother but a year after her death everything changed and he became someone I didn't know. He became abusive verbally, mentally and physically and to make matters worse he would sale me to his friends and let them do whatever they wanted to me. I was his own personal sex slave and there was nothing I could do about it. I didn't have anyone to turn too or anywhere to go. Every time I would try to run away I would always end up right back at his house because trying to sleep on the streets just wasn't safe. It had took me almost an hour to get to school and once I finally made it I was happy as hell because my feet were killing me. Walking inside I immediately went to the girls bathroom so that I could use the hand dryer to dry my self a little because my clothes and shoes were now damp. After I was finished I made my way to class. As I was walking down the hallway I heard someone call my name. I knew it wasn't anybody other than Ariel because I didn't have friends here nor did I talk too that many people. High schoolers were ruthless as hell, everybody was a part of a click and fake and phony as hell so I choose to stay to myself.

Hope I know you heard me calling you.

No I was thinking about something I told Ariel clearly lying, she could wake the dead with her loud ass voice so I definitely heard her.

You always so deep in those thoughts of yours, but anyway happy birthdayyyyy she said side hugging me.

Thanks I said in a dry tone.

Why you so dry? It's yo birthday and your seventeen be happy or something damn.

There's nothing to be happy about it's just another day I assured her.

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