Lauren
After I got Legends message I sat there in a daze. It was eating me up inside knowing that I added more hurt on top of the hurt that Lennox was already going through. But if Legend told me to stay away I'm sure it's for my own good. I just couldn't deny the fact that I missed being around him, feeling him inside of me, smelling him, his annoying laugh and the way he would randomly wake up in the middle of the night and bite my ear like a weirdo. I needed to talk to somebody about the way I was feeling and it's only one person who always made me feel like everything would be ok and knew exactly the right words to say, my daddy. I got dressed then headed up north where he was incarcerated at. It took me about a good hour to get there. As soon as I walked in the building I was told that visiting hours didn't start for another 30 minutes so I had to wait. I haven't been to visit him in what seems like forever. Even though my father was facing life in prison he was still my everything and I loved him unconditionally.
The closer it became time to see him my heart rate increased tremendously.
Visitor for Lawrence Baines.
I stood up from my chair as the C.O led me to the visitors room. As soon as the door opened I saw my dad sitting at the table and I swear all I wanted to do was run into his arms and let him embrace me with tightest hug ever. As soon as he saw me his face lit up. I took the seat across from him and all we did was smiled at each other.
Hi dad.
Hey noodle, how have you been?
I've been good, how are you holding up in here?
As good as I can, ten toes down, taking my sentence to the chin proudly. How is everything going out there?
Pretty much the same, my mama is still her crazy self.
I know I talked to her the other day, she was with Gina and Genesis I spoke with both of them too. I didn't even know all that was going on with Genesis, his ass still a knucklehead I see.
You know that will never change.
Make sure you let him know I got his package too.
Ok I will.
Now you care to tell me why you dragged yourself all the way up here on such short notice?
I missed you and it's been too long since I've seen your face.
Noodle look at me.
I looked directly at him.
You know you can't lie to me, you weren't good at it then and you aren't good at it now. Tell me what's really going on.
I let out a sigh and started telling him the real reason behind me being here.
I started dating this guy and things were practically going perfect, a girl he messed with before me was pregnant and the baby died. So he became obsessed with trying to get me pregnant but I never told him that not only was I on birth control but that I also never wanted kids. He basically broke up with me and I'm terribly in my feelings about it.
I take it the guy you're referring to is Lennox?
You know about Lennox?
Yes, Your mom and Gina made sure they caught me up on everything.
Yea, he's who I'm talking about.
You know why your terribly in your feelings?
Why?
Because you were wrong. Guilt is powerful and it can sometimes break down the strongest people. The moment you let him in your life you should have made sure he knew what you did and didn't want, and then he could have known from the jump what it was. Lauren is because of what happened to you the reason you don't want kids?
