A Diamond Heart

Episode 38

A
    DIAMOND
             💎
               HEART

Episode 38

The playlist for this chapter is 'Westlife- Written in the Stars' do enjoy🎶🎶🎶

Fernando's POV

"Stop!" I yelled at her and she flinched from me frightened.

I sat up panting heavily like I just had a nightmare. Of course, it's a nightmare but that of reality. When Micaela started caressing me, I loved it at first but gradually I became uncomfortable and flashbacks of that night I was raped came to mind and it knocked off the pleasure I was having completely. I couldn't keep faking I was enjoying her touch when I wasn't anymore so I had to scold her to stop touching me.

I sweep my face with my hands and then I gaze up at her. She was in shock and was shivering, that instant I regretted raising my voice at her. It wasn't her fault I was a victim of rape so it's not cool to make her feel guilty over what she's innocent of. I pull up my joggers and stood up from the bed and walked up to her. I squat in front of her and held her hands.

"I'm sorry on my own, I'm sorry I didn't mean to raise my voice at you. I was just...."

"It's okay. I understand what happened, you had a flashback of your past isn't it?" She cuts me off mid-sentence. I guess she has known me too well already, or maybe she's a mind reader.

"Yes, it's an unforgettable incident that no matter how hard I've tried to forget, it's not working. What happened has nothing to do with you though, so I shouldn't treat you the way I just did. Our relationship can't work if I keep doing that, right?" I asked and she nods slightly.

"Ferd, I'm not after sex with you. We can keep sex aside until when you are fully ready to do this. Victims of rape always have an unforgettable memory of the incident, so I understand what you must be going through. I'm ready to wait for you until when you feel you are over it".

"Are you sure you can wait? Are you sure it's not going to affect our relationship? I mean I'll be depriving you of something you should be doing you know. Do you love me enough to wait for me to recover?" I ask fixing my gaze on hers.

This is a tough decision for her, she's a grown woman, she waiting for me to recover from my past is like I'm depriving her of something so important which is lovemaking.

"I love you so much, Ferd. I'm willing to wait as long as you want. Take your time, my love. I'm right here waiting for you anytime any day. Love is patient, so I'm patient enough to see you get over this. We can do this together trust me" She squeezes my hands gently and I smiled in response.

"You are such a sweet angel. I know with you I'll be healed completely and I'll no longer have fears over that night anymore. Thanks for coming into my life, and thanks for being such an understanding woman. I love you Micaela" I said cupping her face into my hands and I kissed her so deeply. "Come here" I helped her up to the bed and we lay back down under the duvet cuddling each other.

"Thanks for loving me, Ferd. I love you so very much. I'd die if anything should happen to you".

"Hey babe, don't say that. Nothing is going to happen to me neither to you. You and I will be together forever, I promise".

She jerks up and looks into my eyes, "You promise?".

"Yes, I promise, my own" I answered and kissed her forehead, and snuggle her next to me. Stillness filled the room and it was a comfortable stillness.

"Are you leaving tomorrow morning?" she suddenly asks.

"Do you want me to leave?" I returned the question.