A Diamond Heart

Episode 48

A
    DIAMOND
             💎
               HEART

Episode 48

The playlist for this chapter is ' Te Fuiste - Enrique Iglesias' Do enjoy🎶🎶🎶

Micaela's POV

I shook my head at the brim of tears. "I'm telling you the truth my love, what happened years ago was my fault. They forced me to rape you just because they found out I was secretly crushing on you-" My voice went vague and tears seared my vision.

I have to force myself to continue "I didn't want you to know that I was crushing on you back in high school so I won't get more humiliation than I've already had back then. I never knew Claudia and her friends noticed it and they threatened to let the whole school know about it if I don't comply and come to a party-" My tone was getting huskier from crying.

My strength was scattered in fits of sadness "I never knew their intentions towards me were bad. I attended the party and they used my weakness as their strength. They...they-" my voice trailed off and low sobs emerges from me.

Half-suffocated with tears and weariness, I continued my confession. "They forced me to have sex with you while you were unconscious. I swear I didn't want to but....."

"Stop!" he yells cutting me off mid-sentence. Great shuddering seized me and my gaze fell low. "Just stop already" he continues weakly.

Easily moved by his voice, I glance up and saw him shaking his head in dismay. "That can't be true, you wouldn't have done that to me, you are too sweet and gentle to do that. You are just trying to mess with my head tonight" Doubts tortured him and more tears spilled from my eyes.

"I'm sorry, Ferd, I'm sorry but that is the truth.  I begged them not to do that to us but they turned deaf ears to me. I knew I was also wrong to have accepted but I was powerless then. I had to live with regret and pain throughout my life. And...and when we graduated high school and went our separate ways I still kept on checking up on you to know how you were doing and everything..."

"Can you stop lying?!" He barks at me and stood up and I shuddered at the vibration of his voice and tears flowed down my cheeks like an ocean.

"So, is true? You mean you did rape me, Micaela! How could you do that to me? Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and months turned into years but you never came to tell me all these, for
thirteen freaking years?! You made me suffer a traumatic experience that caused me to have nightmares for thirteen years, Micaela! How could you?" his whole face was thick with gloom and resentment.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't have the courage to tell you then. I only wanted to make things right my way..."

"By making me fall in love with you, isn't it?" he interrupted and I shook my head. "Of course, it's the truth! You've been so obsessed with me that even after the rape incident you still found a way to attract me to you by writing that book and making me come look for you! You made me fall in love with you and as if it wasn't enough, I got married to you!"

"No, it's not true, that's not how I wanted it to end. I never planned it this way, believe me!" I sobbed.

"Believe you? I'll never believe a liar, betrayer, and pretender like you! You knew all along about my past but you pretended like everything was cool! You never for once mentioned this to me even when I did mention my past to you. You pretended like you didn't know anything about it meanwhile you did know a lot. You were just after me getting married to you!"

His voice grew cold and his temper was dark and explosive. "Ha, I know why you did it. It's because you are so obsessed with me!" He screamed.

I saw tears stream down his cheeks. He glanced away and began pacing around the room with his hands on his forehead. What have I done?

"I love you, Ferd, I do love you".

"Don't you dare say those words to me! Don't you dare! You have no idea what love is! Love does not betray trust, it does not pretend, it does not tell lies, and it does not keep crucial secrets that will affect the other person. Love is loyal, truthful, trustworthy, and kind! If you ever loved me you would have opened up to me a long time ago!"

"I did want to tell you but I was afraid you'll hate me and not believe me".

"Of course, I hate you, Micaela! I hate you now and forever! You are the worst human being I've ever met! Because of you, I hated women for years! And because of you, I broke my vow! I thought you were worth it, but you aren't worth it!"

My heart sank in bitterness, I suddenly fell sick and felt like throwing up. Tears blurred my vision, and all I did was sat still on the bed.

"No wonder you acted as my healer because you were also the cause of the disease I had. Bravo, Micaela Alvarado, bravo! I'll never forgive you for all the pains you've caused me these whole years and also these past few months for fooling me into believing you were real when you are just a fake and heartless pretender! You'll face justice for raping me. You'll pay for all the pain you've caused me. This goddamn marriage is over! It is over!" He angrily punched the wall and I jolted onto the bed and hugged myself.

By now I was shivering and sweating at the same time. His pronouncement had caught the room into a solemn and awful quietude.  Petrified at the last words, my heart shattered more than ever.

"No, darling please don't say our marriage is over, we can still fix this. Couples do fight and make up, remember? And...and you promised to always be by my side forever" I manage to utter.

"Yeah, I did promise you that, but that's before I realized that the woman I made those promises to doesn't deserve it!" He seethed.

"Ferd, all that happened wasn't intentional...."

"Are you trying to make me believe you are innocent of your crimes? You fucking want me to believe you had nothing to do with my rape and that you were also a victim?! Sorry drama queen, the show is over, you can no longer deceive me as you'd always done. You are just so delusional for you to have written that goddamn book just to get me into your arms. You even went to the extreme to fake suicide so that I'll forget about the reason I came to Seoul! Goodness, you are evil!"

"That is not true, Ferd. I swear all that happened between us was real, I never faked anything this past few months" I muffled.

"You know what? I'm done with you Micaela, standing here listening to your lies doesn't even make sense, so I'm leaving. You can stay here and enjoy your stupid honeymoon" he growled and went to the wardrobe.

"Please my darling, don't leave-" I begged and stood up from the bed with the duvet covering my body and I walked towards him.

"Don't you dare come closer to me! Stay far away from me, you disgust me!" He spat angrily and I shivered and stood still with my head bowed low in shame.

"Ferd please" I cried and went down on my knees. "Please I'm sorry, forgive me".

"I wish it was that easy. What I feel for you now is so much hate, I don't ever want to set my eyes on you again. Goodbye Micaela and don't you try to come to look for me!" he grunted and took his luggage out and slammed the door.

"Ferd please don't go!" I cried crawling to the door if he would come back for me but he didn't, he was gone. Just like that, he was gone, from here and from my life.

"No!" I screamed crying and banging my fist on the door. My life is ruined! What have I done to myself? I thought I found happiness but it was only short-lived.