ethereal (demi lovato)

Suddenly, Then All At Once

Panic suddenly raged through me and I pushed the blankets off me, trying to move myself up, but I was so wrapped around them that they were keeping me down. When I finally got them off me, I rushed from the room, scared that I would break down and wake up my sleeping six year old.

"What?" I asked, trying to contain the emotions raging through my body. I grabbed my shoes and slipped them on, stepping out onto the deck. The cold air always helped me calm myself and collect my thoughts.

"Mr Jonas is locked inside his office bathroom, we are not able to get inside. He is under the influence of a combination of multiple drugs and alcohol. He wants to kill himself. We need you get down here immediately." My heart was in my stomach and my mind was racing, what do I do? It is early in the morning and my seven-year-old is fast asleep in my bedroom with no one to come in my place.

"I can't, my daughter, she's here, I can't, I don't have a babysitter." There was a sigh on the other end and I couldn't help but sigh as well, there was no way I could get a sitter, we only ever used one, Nick's sister, but she had gone back home to morn her niece's death with her parents, although Nick wouldn't be there.

"Ma'am, we need you to come down here, you are his emergency contact."

"I can't, I'm sorry. I can't get down there. I have a tired, sleeping child in my home with no babysitter. I can't get down there, just, please, get him out of there." I was so angry with him, drugs weren't his thing, he was not into drugs, I would never forgive him if he did so, even in this hard time for us.

I argued with this woman for minutes before they let me go, telling me they would move onto a different emergency contant, they would keep me posted they said. I felt horrible not able to go down there, but Nick was under the influence of drugs, things he swore he would never get into. I have a child to worry about, I can't just shove her down the drain again when something else happens, she matters too much for me to do that again. 

Nick hadn't shoot himself, the police got him out of there before he could load the gun, being under the influence saves his life, but also cost him a lot. They had informed me that he was heavily under the influence, he was so out of it they were surprised he hadn't died from the mixture of so many things. After searching, they had found a lot of stashes around his office, which angered me. He had been on a one way trip to jail but I managed to get him set up somewhere he would be better treated, a help center in NYC that took in drug addicts.

It had been a month and a half since he was put into the center, he had made no process, but it wasn't bugging me, not as much as it should. Sofia and I had moved from our New York apartment, packing up only the things that meant something to us and headed for Texas. We were staying in my parents house while the guest house was being renovated, water damage and such.

Sofia was in school, she really enjoyed her 1st grade class and was having fun being back into school, and most importantly, to her, dance. I signed her up at a studio I went to at a very young age, she loved it there. She was only dancing two nights a week, but was happily learning a solo.

I was sitting in the living room, Sofia was off to school, her and Maddie walked to the elementary/ middle school together with my mother every morning and then both of my parents took off to work. I had the house to myself and I usually spent that time cleaning up or relaxing, I often called Nick's treatment center in New York to look in on him, but the results were always the same. He wasn't reacting to the treatment and it wasn't helping him.

I spent my day looking for Sofia's dance stuff, she hadn't gotten a specific dance bag yet, so all her things where everywhere, until I had gone out that afternoon and got her a black bag, from the studio, with her name on it.

I put her ballet shoes, tights, leotard, socks, over clothing as well as her tap shoes into an old backpack of hers. I packed her a snack and some of her favorite juice, she had to go straight from home to the studio, I couldn't stay, as I had things to do at home, my parents were going to help me start to move our things into the new house, where I had intentions of staying for a while.

I waited outside on the steps with my car keys, it was a ten minute walk for the two girls to walk up to the gate where they usually got the mail and came running up to the door. I waited for a few more minutes until I saw the blonde locks of my seven year old and my little sister come around the corner.

"Mommy!" She yelled and came running up, smiling. I picked her up and then messed up my sister's hair.

"Hi, my little beauties. How was school, my loves?"

Hello everyone. I needed a big change. This is it. I will not be changing setting for a little while, there is happiness coming. Sorry to those of you who liked Nick, but he wasnt needed anymore. See ya later guys <3

Updated: Dec 26th 2016