ethereal (demi lovato)

Dangerous Waters

"Custody of Sofia Michelle Lovato, formally named Sofia Michelle Antonio, will return to Mr Antonio." My heart dropped and the little girl beside me paled. I looked over at her teary eyes and could see the pain radiating out of the small child. Her hand loosened around mine and I suddenly felt lost without the contact of her hand in mine. I went to speak, but the court was dead silent as everyone began to process what was going on. I didn't even notice the tears dripping from my eyes until I saw one hit my black dress.

The jury was filling out almost a minute after the news had been set out and the judge began to put his papers away. I looked over at my daughter, trying to read her quickly but turned just in time to see her eyes roll into the back of her head and she fell to the floor below our table. My family from behind me jumped up and over the rail as I pushed the chair out, she was having a seizure.

"Someone call 9-11!" I yelled, moving my daughter onto her side as she lay on the ground. Fear and panic raged through me going the speed of bullets and my mind was clouded, but I knew what to do without even thinking. People gathered and the judge opened his phone, quickly dialling 9-11. As I comforted my daughter in her shaking seizures, my thoughts went somewhere else, somewhere dark.

***

I sat on the floor of my closet, her favorite spot to hide when we played hide and seek, she knew I knew where she would go, but still went anyways. In my hands there was a photo of her weeks after I adopted her, she wore a bright yellow sun dress and had my sunglasses on as she sipped on a cold drink from our local Starbucks back in LA, we had spent the day in the park and she loved it. I missed her.

Her seizure had been a psychogenic non-epileptic seizure, the doctor said it is difficult or hurtful thoughts and feelings that affect them physically, the news took a large toll on her. She hadn't had another, not after they gave her some medication to calm her down when we were at the hospital. I was so confused, what was I to do? Did I need to leave my daughter? Stay? I didn't have custody of her anymore but I had no idea what to do, I wanted to stay. I needed to stay, but in the end, I was asked to leave.

I stood from my spot in the closet and tucked the photo I had been holding back into its spot in the photo album below, I had printed every picture I had of her on my phone, on my twitter and all of those social media accounts. She was so beautiful, although my genes hadn't created her, my love helped create the beautiful little girl she was today. I couldn't believe within a few hours, I lost her.

I had visitations and I could see her all I wanted, but she could not live with me and Richard had the last word and final decision as to when I saw her and how long. By now, three days later, she had been moved across the country to his home in Washington so visiting her was hard either way. She hadn't taken any of her things and her teachers at dance and school had only found out today that she wasn't going to return.

I wiped my tears and made my way over to the door, opening it and going down the stairs slowly, what had happened to make me forget all of this? I was calling bullshit on the fact I fell down the stairs, there was no way in hell I could have lost all that in a short fall, the stairs were soft and had only 10 stairs. As I walked down them, I replayed what they thought I had done, imaging myself falling and wondering how I did so. I walked up and down those stairs for hours, but I couldn't figure it out.

I was about to give up hope on ever figuring it out, as I walked down the stairs for the last time that hour, a red dot in the vent above the door frame caught my eye, I had never seen that red dot before. It intrigued me.

I grabbed a stool from the kitchen and a screwdriver from the garage. I began working on pulling out the many screws and dropping them into the pockets of my sweat pants. When all the screws had been taken out, I pulled back the dusty white vent and turned on my phone flash light. I reached inside and pulled out a black object, it had been hidden in the darkness of the vent.

Why the hell did I have a camera placed in a vent?

***

Updated DECEMBER 26TH 2016