Loved?

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Leah and I adapted to life as parents of two easily. We had a massive support network and the summer off to spend together. As the summer came to an end, we returned from our first family holiday and Leah prepared for her new season. I had slight thoughts about Harriet but nothing that was enough to cause me stress.

As the season started back, Arsenal were performing well and I had returned to songwriting whilst Aoife was at school, in between Theo's naps. I thought this was where the happily ever after came into play but as always, something was brewing behind the scenes that neither myself nor Leah could've seen coming. Or did she?

Lydia and Gavin were brought in as babysitters for the night so Leah and I could attend her teammates birthday dinner but Leah was apprehensive given that Harriet would be in attendance. We had small disagreements over the situation but these were quickly ironed out between us as the event neared.

As we finished dinner and headed to the cocktail bar area of a London restaurant, Leah had already exceeded herself. I was happy to see her letting her hair down, we hadn't had much time for that as we made life with two little ones work. Leah drunk was cute, she was affectionate and funny, her awkwardness leaving her body as she danced around without a care in the world. The more she drank, the more she couldn't take her hands off me but being almost sober, I began to notice that Harriet was staring. She would look away when I caught her but look back when she thought I wasn't looking.

As Leah sat with her arm around my shoulder, she breathed her alcohol filled breath into my ear.

"Anything she says is a lie babe."

I nodded in agreement, pondering what Leah thought Harriet could tell me that I didn't already know. I knew I wouldn't get much sense out of Leah tonight so I opted to wait until tomorrow to find out. Before I could say anything else, Beth trailed her to the dance floor, leaving Harriet and I intently staring at each other before she began to push herself through the sea of chairs towards me.

"Harriet, by the way." She spoke, seeming just as sober as I was.
"Yeah. Alex." I stated bluntly.
"You got the girl in the end then." She laughed.
"It would appear so, yeah." I said, feeling awkward.

I knew Harriet wanted to say something, I could sense it. I couldn't exactly ask her, she'd go straight to Leah. I stared at the drink in front of me, unsure whether to leave or stay.

"I loved her." Harriet sighed.
"I'm sorry that you got hurt." I said sincerely.
"I'm sorry that you were lied to." She responded, seeming genuine.

Maybe Harriet wasn't so bad after all. Realistically, she was no different to Grace. Well, apart from the fact she knew Leah and I were still together when she jumped into bed with her.

"I appreciate that. I'm just glad that's over." I said, smiling at her.
"I would never do that again, just so you know. It was a one off, I just fell for her. When she said she loved me too, I just couldn't help myself." Harriet's words sent me into overdrive. Loved? Leah told her she loved her? I knew I had to play it off, these were Leah's coworkers, I couldn't start losing my shit now and a large part of me didn't want to give Harriet the satisfaction of knowing I didn't know that part.

"I get it. It's fine." I said, trying to force another smile in her direction.
"I'm glad we can be on good terms." Harriet smiled back.

Every part of my brain was willing me to run out the door and leave Leah here but my heart was telling me that Harriet had made that part up. The one thing that didn't sit right with me was Leah's earlier comment. Anything she says is a lie babe. Why would Leah feel the need to say that to me? Is that why she's been so worried all week?

I spent the rest of the night trying to piece together a jigsaw in my head, one with hundreds of missing pieces that would never be complete. Not until I had spoken to Leah. Shortly before 2am, Leah was ready for bed. She snaked her arms around my shoulders and planted a wine tasting kiss on my lips before waving goodbye to her friends and using me for support as we hobbled to the taxi.

"I love you so fucking much, Alex." Leah repeated as we made the journey home. My lips telling her I loved her more but my mind still full of what ifs.

Leah passed out as soon as I placed her onto the bed, leaving it to me to change her into something that wouldn't cut off her circulation during the night. I got into bed beside her, still cuddling into her to warm her up, even though she was fast asleep. I awoke the next morning to an extremely groggy Leah, her voice was croaky and her body clearly aching from her alcohol consumption last night.

Before children, I could've waited until Leah was a bit more human to speak to her but we currently had just two hours before they were due home and I didn't want them to be around for this, just incase.

"Hey Le, can I asked you something?" I said softly, aware of her fragility.
"Course." She said as she placed her phone back on her chest.
"Did you tell Harriet you loved her?" I asked, getting straight to the point.

I was met with complete silence.

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