The Meeting

Twitter Spat

The first time I met Leah I was moping around a plane because most of the people at my gig had been friends/family. I wanted fame. I wanted a large crowd to chant my name, media outlets to publish my name and social media to know who Alex Ryan was; how naive was I. Recognition for your talent and fame were two very different things; recognition was people discussing how strong I was to perform tonight after just three weeks without my Dad, fame was the comments that were made on social media. Fans trying to be kind but failing to see that I wanted performance feedback, not their psychological diagnosis from a few pictures.

How is Alex going to perform tonight? She looks like she's not coping at all

Naaaah Alex's management have stitched her right up making her carry on her schedule for this appearance

I know her Dad just died but remember the pictures of Leah and Alex outside the doctors?? Def think she's sick

ARW is suffering some serious depression. She didn't even walk the red carpet

Then I saw it. The one I couldn't ignore. Leah will kill me. I thought to myself as I typed my reply. I didn't care though, Leah would just have to understand that I had ignored it when they attacked my Dad's memory, ignored it when my little girl found out her Granda was dead before I told her, I was over ignoring it. I reread the tweet.

I'm sorry, but did Leah not think maybe she should talk her WIFE who she 'LOVES' out of performing at the fucking heart charity event, 3 weeks after her Dad died?? That girl will do anything for money, except earn it herself.

I scoffed as I read it, rewording my reply before pressing send.

I'm sorry, but did you not think that you should talk YOURSELF out of posting something as damaging as this? Your statement is bullshit. Leah will do anything for me, which is why she'll be supporting me tonight as I do something that I MYSELF want to do.

It felt good, I can't deny that. It was one comment out of thousands, but I had put them in their place. I knew that within minutes it would make showbiz news, Lydia would frantically barge into this room and Leah would be angry, but you win some you lose some. A further Twitter notification brought me out of my daydream.

You're my hero Alex I'm sorry :( I just care so much about you

Care? So you slander my wife on social media? You're on. Wow - this felt good. I felt like all my frustration was slowly being released as I replied once again.

No but you don't. If you 'cared' about me as a normal human you wouldn't slander my wife on social media. I don't want to be your hero, I want to be a grieving daughter that still goes to work. Like millions of people that aren't lucky enough to get compassionate leave do.
Ps. Leah's business is doing great.

Within minutes I heard footsteps hurrying down the corridor, getting louder with every thud. Lydia burst through the door with Leah directly behind her, both wide eyed, and Lydia looking pissed at me. Fuck it.

"Alex, what the fuck are you doing?" Lydia shouted, waving her hands in the air.
"Defending my wife. What're you doing?" I shrugged.
"Have you gone fucking insane? Have you actually lost it? ALL the work I've put in to save you through the years and you start bitching at some picture-less profile over Twitter?" Lydia squeaked.
"Alllllll the work you've put in. Where were you when the newspapers were calling my Dad an alcoholic? Or when Aoife found out over YouTube that her Granda was dead? You're here for the good parts, missing when things are shit though." I knew that wasn't true, but I was so tired and drained.
"Alex, that's not fair." Leah gave me serious eyes, but I just rolled mine at her.
"I'm your coworker! I help you with things related to your performances, not - well - not - you know." Lydia trailed off.
"News to me, Lyds. I thought you were my best friend."
"I thought I was too, Alex." She sighed.