The Meeting

Small vs Big

Having siblings wasn't easy, Leah told me that. It was worth it though, she told me that too. I struggled with the idea that the kids weren't getting along, I hated the fact that they couldn't see how blessed they were to have each other; something I had never had. That day was just another day of persistent squabbling between Aoife and Theo. That day I had just had enough.

"You said it! Why do you always blame me?" Aoife squealed.
"You said it! It wasn't my fault!" Theo ranted back.
"Why do you even talk to me anyway, I don't like you."
"I don't like you either, Aoife."
"Yeah - well - ugh - I hate you." Aoife screamed.

I bashed my hand off the kitchen table, startling the two of them into a stunned silence.

"Will the two of you stop it! Just be quiet! Do you have any idea how lucky you are to have each other? There are kids out there that don't have anyone. No family. No friends. No siblings. How ungrateful are you two? You -"
"Alex." Leah interjected.
"Get to bed. Both of you - get out of my sight."
"But -"
"Aoife! Bed!" I said sternly.

They both obeyed, having never really witnessed this level of frustration from me before. Leah stood silently folding washing, I think she was shocked by my outburst too. I had my reasons though. She allowed a few minutes to pass before she walked towards me, standing against my back and wrapping her arms around my shoulders.

"What was that all about? You never shout at them like that?" She asked softly.
"I never really thought about having siblings, you know? I didn't have them so it didn't bother me. Then my Mum died, and all I wanted was someone else who understood how sad I was, someone to be there through it with me. Obviously I had my Dad. You know what I mean?"
"I know that. Can I tell you something though?" Leah whispered.
"Yes."
"You would've had all those fights with your brother/sister too. You would've shouted I hate you, told them to go away, and all the things they're doing. When Theo has his nightmares, what does Aoife do?"
"Gets in beside him."
"That's how we know that if anything happens, they have each others backs. Even if they kill each other on the daily." She chuckled.
"Should I go see them?"
"Mhmm. Come back to me though - when they're asleep." Leah placed a kiss on my neck.

As I sat on the bed talking to Aoife and Theo, apologising for my temper tantrum, I came out with a line that would have so much more meaning by the end of the night.

"There are big problems, and small problems. Theo saying he doesn't like your new football is a small problem, it just seems bigger to you at the time. It's not a big problem though, not like the big problems some people go through." I sighed.
"What is a big problem then?" Aoife asked.
"Nothing for you to worry about. We don't have any of those thankfully." I smiled.

We did though, I just hadn't found it yet.

When the two had fallen asleep, I attempted to make my way back downstairs before a hand appeared through the doorway and pulled me into the bedroom.

"Are you kidnapping me?" I chuckled.
"Yes. I was waiting too long." Leah rolled her eyes, already pulling me towards the bed.

Careful to not be noisy, we managed to undress before her hands found their way to my stomach and her lips attached to my neck. It wasn't unusual for her to take her time with me, it was something she took all too much pleasure in doing. Making quick work of moving to my chest, Leah abruptly stopped; again, something that she would often do as a way of teasing. Not this time though. Her small bites on my neck stopped, her hand moving more gently around one area. Back and forth, back and forth. She buried her head into my neck a little, taking a deep breath before she lifted her head to look at me.

"What is it?" I asked, confused as to what was going on.
"A lump, Al. You have a lump." Leah whispered, her eyes filling with tears faster than ever before.