Tangent | Soukoku; AU [✔]

38 ➳ touch grass // h.x

chuuya and i had parted ways once i was done confronting him. that entire time felt like a thousand weights were pushing me down, way more than what my frail body could normally handle. and that's when i decided that i needed to breathe some fresh air again. after all, hawthorne would often tell me to get a change of scenery whenever he sees me stressed over video games.

now that i think about it, the pastor was just telling me to touch grass, but more... biblical.

i already had an idea in mind on where i should spend the rest of my evening until curfew, but along the way i saw a familiar figure near the waters. the brown hair and coat was so giving, i can practically tell it's dazai even from afar. i remembered that he offered to meet, though i hadn't gotten the chance to reply earlier. maybe i should take this opportunity instead.

i replied to his last message while i slowly approached towards his direction. he turned around the moment i spoke up, his dark chocolate orbs shining bright upon meeting my own red dead ones.

"aww, look who's here to meet me," dazai spoke in a tiny girlish voice as if he were teasing me. "who knew you were capable of such socialization, xyren?"

in my defense, i spoke up "i would just rather stay at home; it doesn't mean i'm incapable of basic human interaction. i live with a lot of human beings, you know?"

and he just laughed hysterically at my response, like he didn't even take what i said seriously. a very big grin that almost reaches his ears flashed to my sights, giving me a pat in the head afterwards.

"you're cute," dazai blurted out with no hesitation, but i felt nothing towards the compliment. he took note of this and proceeded. "so, do you wanna chat over coffee and bread?"

i agreed to the suggestion and we headed off, saying that the place wasn't far off from where we were. while walking, i suddenly remembered that i did promise chuuya for a meal with him some time. but you know what, being teammates with him means i'm going to see a lot of his face for majority of the time. i might as well take hawthorne's suggestion for once and let myself to new faces rather than familiar ones.

a pang of guilt stung to my chest from that thought for a bit. dazai seemed to have noticed despite my best attempts to just keep it in my head. maybe coming out of my comfort zone had changed me in such a short amount of time.

"you good?" asked dazai, to which i just nodded and kept my eyes on the sidewalk.

minutes later, we have finally reached the said cafe; it was cozy especially with the yellow shades of lights. there weren't a lot of people so it was quiet, as if we had the whole place to ourselves.

the waitress lead us to our table and took our orders shortly. dazai seems to be a regular here considering the fact that he and the waitress were talking as if they knew each other. that, or the brunette is just a smooth lady talker.

once the lady left to place our orders, dazai immediately looked straight at me, his head resting on the top of his clasped fingers.

"anything you wanna let out, xyren? i'm listening."

for the entirety of my life i have actually heard this sentence a lot, most especially when i moved out and i met hawthorne and the others. i am aware that they're concerned, but all those times i had avoided answering the question in fear that i would be a burden.

in turn, i would rather listen to people than people listen to me. funny enough, i just said almost the same thing to chuuya earlier - and i listened to him. this time, it was me back to being asked this question, and something funny churns inside my chest that i can't fathom.

i turned sideways in attempt to avoid dazai's gaze, but he reached his bandaged-covered hand to my chin and turned my head back to where our eyes meet.

please, don't this to me.