52 ➳ statue // n.c

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"nakahara, what do you think you're doing?"

voice raised higher than i'll ever be, pitch louder than the roaring crowd, and words as blunt as a bat, yet hurt like a sharp knife. these words came out of the one and only hayakawa xyren, whom i've known so far to be monotonous, serious, and an emotionless speaker. it was the first time i've heard her with so much raw emotion - i didn't even think that she was capable of it.

and yet, the most unexpected does hurt a lot as they said. it's true.

on that note, it was the last time i ever heard xyren speak. after the game, she was back into her taciturn bubble, with eyes far deceased than it used to be, like nothing happened. we won the game, but the woman showed no expression of joy or not even relief. the entire team took notice of this as well when kajii and tachihara tried hanging their arms around xyren's shoulder, but the jet-black haired woman didn't even wince.

"you good, hayakawa?" coach mori asked with a slightly tilted head.

"hm? ah yeah, i'm good," xyren lied in broad daylight. that was no face of someone who's doing fine. "just a bit tired."

"hayakawa got mad at chuuya for almost throwing the game." akutagawa stated as a matter of fact. kajii and tachihara gave out a hysterical laugh while agreeing to the raven-haired man. coach mori sent me sharp glaring eyes right after.

"i-i didn't mean to go too far forward there!" i said in my defense, not exactly sure why i had done what happened.

the others said nothing in response. coach mori tried to enlighten the mood by saying that all that matters is that we have made a big milestone upon ourselves by not only conquering eliminations rounds but also being able to make it as far as going to the finals. as coach continued his attempt for a heartfelt speech, kajii and tachihara gladly concur, and akutagawa agrees in his own quiet and mysterious way.

however, xyren said nothing - she was just standing there like a statue, looking at everyone with her signature dead red orbs.



the tournament for today was finally over; we stayed until the very end of it to closely watch on the other teams. we might need the information for the finals, of course, especially information for whoever we will be facing in the finals.

there will be a game tomorrow, but we're not really required to go since we'll be on standby until next week for the finals - we'll just watch the rest of the games at home or during meetings, and then wait for which team we will face against. the actual finals won't be up until the following week.

at this point, i was just waiting for xyren to approach me since she did promise that we will be talking again right after the day. or perhaps she's waiting for me to approach her instead, i mean i did did her wrong earlier.

breathe in, breathe out. relax, chuuya. you can do this.

as always, the both of us are the ones who leave last. xyren likes to take her time fixing her stuff and making sure that everything is intact in her bag, while the rest just wants to go home. for some reason, i just have this first instinct to wait for her.

once xyren had packed her things, her crimson orbs met with my blue ones once, and no words came out of neither of us. the woman continued to walk past by me until there was a significant distance between us.

i was frozen in place, yet my mind wanted to go after her. then go after her you stupid fuck! my brain yelled at me. why are you still standing there?! it continued to pester me with all these contradicting thoughts, and my physical body still won't move an inch.

i continued to watch her walk away until she got smaller and smaller in sight.

"oh, for fuck's sake!" i yelled at the top of my lungs before dashing towards her direction. i'm not letting this same thing happen again.

i already lost one support in my life, and one is enough.

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