Vanilla+brown sugar (Hyunlix)

Falling

I stepped outside of the cafe, the afternoon chilly breeze hitting my face. The sun would set soon. Hyunjin had gone back into the cafe, telling me to wait by the car. I did as I was told, keeping my eyes focused on the door of the cafe. I didn't know what he had gone to do, but it had been a while now. I was beginning to feel cold, the weather was all over the place these days. First, it started with the endless rain, now chilly winds. Leaves were starting to fall too. Decorating the grey sidewalk in brown and orange. Fall was upon us and I loved it. I was pulled out of my thoughts, by the bell on the cafe door tinging. It was Hyunjin, walking out the door, holding a bouquet of flowers. Yellow, orange, pink, and purple flowers, all bundled up together. Wrapped beautifully in brown craft paper, with a light pink ribbon tied tightly around the stems. So that's what took him so long. I wondered what's the occasion. He was calmly making his way towards me his eyes latched on me. I could see a slight change in his expression. I couldn't tell what, but it made my heartbeat quicken. He stopped in front of me extending his hand.

"For you."

I gazed down at the bouquet, feeling my chest tighten. It really felt like a date. Why was he being so nice?....he can't like me?...can he?. No. It's just flowers. "Thank you, they're beautiful" I spoke quietly. Feeling like if I spoke too loud, I would break whatever moment we were having.

"These flowers are kinda like you." What did he mean by that?. He looked a bit awkward. He glanced at the bouquet and then at me. "Shall we go ?, it's cold out here." I nodded, following him to the car.

The Inside of the car was warm, well Hyunjin did turn on the heater but I also think it was because of how hot my body felt. I felt feverish all of a sudden. This is the effect of flowers on me and a little bit of eye contact. The attention is new to me, so I guess my reaction is understandable. Every now and then I'd glance at Hyunjin. He looked calm and I couldn't read his expression. His eyes were focused on the road and he nibbled on his bottom lip. Cute. I wondered if that was a habit of his. I also wondered if he could hear how fast my heart was beating ?. Probably not. I leaned down, sniffing the bouquet in my lap. It smelled heavenly. The flowers were all my favorite colors too, but I couldn't tell him that. I was falling, even if I didn't know what the bouquet meant. Is it just a friendly gesture ?....or something more ?. I know I said I would avoid him but why am I hoping it means something more.

Suddenly the car stopped. Right. Home. I didn't want to leave him. I like being around him. These feelings are new to me and I want to figure them out.

"We're here."

I pouted. Turning to him, making my eyes as big as I can. I know. Shameful. What was I even pleading for ?...what did I even want from him?. To spend more time together?...well yes...but also something more.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." He leaned forward, tucking a strand of blond hair behind my ear. His fingers brushed my ear at the same time. It felt hot where he touched.  Had I just been touched deprived for 19 years why was I getting worked up over a simple touch?. I tried not to show what I was thinking. He smirked and then spoke again. "I'll see you tomorrow." I blushed shyly, nodding my head. So there's a next time. I opened the door, climbing out, this time making sure to not slam the door. I waved at him through the tinted window. Turned on my feet and then left. I could hear him driving off when I finally entered the apartment building. There was this bubbly feeling creeping slowly inside me. The elevator had stopped working suddenly the other day. I made my way quickly up the stairs. On any other day, I'd be annoyed by how many stairs I'd have to climb. However, today I felt like I was floating. I unlocked the door like I had done a thousand times before. Hanging my tote bag on the coat rack and removing my shoes with one hand. I needed to hurry to put the flowers in water.

"Felix ?" it was Jeongin's voice from the kitchen.

"Jeongin you won't believe the day I had" I entered the kitchen, twirling around, showing off my colorful bouquet in the process.

"OMG Felix, your hair ??" Jeongin gasped. " Those flowers ??." He observed me like I was somebody else.

"Remember that boy Jisung I told you about ?, he dyed it for me." I jumped up and sat on the countertop. Placing the flowers gently beside me. "I also met that hot cashier again, his name is Changbin." I grinned.

"Did he buy you those flowers?"

"No Hyunjin did."

Jeongin's expression hardened. I knew he would be mad. He did tell me to stay away from Hyunjin. Before he could give me another lecture, I rushed to defend myself.

"Hear me out" I gave him my best puppy eyes.

Jeongin sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm listening".

"I think I'm in love." my mouth moved on it's on.

"In love ?, do you even know what that is." He sounded serious.

"I don't, but I bet it's whatever Hyunjin is making me feel." I swayed my feet, feeling them dangle off the countertop. Jeongin sighed. I guess he didn't have anything to say. I could tell that he was disappointed in me. I couldn't do anything about my feelings. If he was right about Hyunjin, then I'd learn the hard way sooner or later. However for now I wanted to go along with whatever I was feeling. Live in the moment and just enjoy the attention before it ends.

My flowers were now in a water pitcher, sitting on my bedside table. I could buy a vase another time but I don't think that's something I need at the moment. I won't have to worry about receiving flowers again. I'm sure of it. Today was probably a one time thing. Right now I had to think about tomorrow, the photo shoot. I have to prepare myself to be someone I'm not, a model. Could I really live up to Mrs. Hwang's expectations?. Am I even the photogenic type to begin with ?. I had all these thoughts running through my head. I had this anxious feeling growing in my stomach. I wanted to throw up really. I'm sure she could have picked anybody else, especially someone with experience. I don't know anything about being in front of a camera. I planned to go to bed early, about 10. Since I'm sure a good night's rest will help me look and feel my best tomorrow. So before that, I spent my time standing in the bathroom, posing in front of the bathroom mirror. Trying to figure out my good sides, my bad sides. Building confidence I'm sure I didn't have. Figuring out poses and facial expressions that made me look "chic". By the time I was done, I crashed into bed, exhausted. Tomorrow was going to be a long day.