Vanilla+brown sugar (Hyunlix)

Anything you want

Felix's pov

It felt good last night, breaking down in Hyunjin's arms and telling him about a part of me I never thought I would share. He thinks I didn't deserve it and I think it wasn't fair. Now that he knows, I feel more vulnerable, and I'm curious to see how he'll treat me. I don't want him to see me as some fragile thing that falls apart easily. I want him to treat me the same but from his words, I can tell that he'll change. He wants me to be needy with him, He wants me to depend on him, and he wants to make me happy. Somehow I don't understand what he's trying to say. After he left last I stayed up a while replaying his words in my head. I really do love him because what else is this feeling in my chest?
The oven timer sounds and I turn away from the countertop, walking to the stove. I open the oven to reveal the cake I just baked. It's chocolate, Jeongin loves chocolate. He'll be home any minute now and I want to have this cake decorated and ready before he gets here. I've been thinking about how I would apologize to him all day and this cake is what I came up with. For days I've avoided Jeongin and I can't imagine how much that hurt him. I have no reason to keep doing that, especially since he has done nothing wrong. So I should be the one to make things right although I'm scared he might not want to.

I don't add much to the single-layer chocolate cake. On the top part I've added red gummies all over. Because for some odd reason when Jeongin eats gummy bears, he only ever eats the red ones. I don't know how he'll react to my apology but I'm really hoping he'll accept it. It sounds like I'm just planning to give him a cake and hoping he'll forgive me right away but I've thought of what I want to say to him probably a hundred times today. 
After decorating the cake and placing it to cool on the countertop, I ended up cleaning the entire kitchen. And I'm currently standing in the middle of the living room, wondering if I should clean it as well. I have my nerves to blame for this sudden urge to clean the entire apartment although it isn't messy, to begin with. Then I hear it. The sound of the front door swinging open. My body flinches and I run to the kitchen, almost stumbling over my own footsteps. I don't know what this feeling is but I feel like I want to throw up and hide at the same time. I take a deep breath as I pick up the cake from the counter. Maybe he'll think I'm being weird but I should at least try. When I walk out of the kitchen Jeongin is already walking in the direction of his bedroom door. I feel my heart sink deeper into my chest as I prepare myself for what I will do next.

"Jeongin wait" I call out to him softly and he stops, his body stiffening at my words. He turns around slowly and when his eyes fall to the cake in my hands they widen slightly. I can read his expression clearly. He looks confused, not mad, and sad, not happy. This is all my fault. I swallow whatever emotions I'm feeling at the moment and meet his eyes. "Jeongin, will you forgive me," I say, my voice a little shaky. He stares at me, not saying a word and I can tell that he is waiting for me to finish my apology."I'm sorry for the way I acted" I start, drawing in a sharp breath. "I was being weird and I didn't mean to take out my frustrations on you. I thought I had everything under control but without realizing I was actually falling apart. I know you were just worried about me because truthfully I wasn't okay. I'm also sorry for avoiding you these past couple of days." I feel my hands go numb and my grip tightens on the cake."Ca-can we be friends again ?" When he doesn't answer I look down at the cake, feeling my stomach turn with shame, and when I look up again he's standing in front of me. I take a step back, startled. His mouth curves into a smile "You dummy I never stopped being your friend." If I wasn't holding this cake I would want nothing more than to hug him right now. "I'm just glad that you seem like yourself again" he continues and I can see relief settle over his features.

"What is this cake about ?" He asks, dropping his eyes to the chocolate dessert in my hands.

"I made it for you," I say, stepping closer , and stretching it to him.