The Bull Prince | Max Verstappen

SEQUEL - Chapter 32

Hello there. So, I know I make that joke almost every time by now, but ...in terms of chapters, we finally have a new chapter. Yeah, party hard! Anyway, so yes I don't really have anything to say, apart from enjoying the chapter, I'm still writing but yeah you know how it is life is getting in the way and even though the updates are all over the place, I won't stop writing this book until I have the 200 chapter mark, so chill. It's a bit more dramatic than planned actually but yes. As always, comments and everything else really is appreciated. It just motivates me to write more, so if you want more, leave me a cute message or a comment. I love those.  Enjoy reading, it's a mid-length one so 6.2 K. Cheers! 

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The shining sun was colouring the early morning in warm light causing Max's hair to twinkle a little bit. Sitting in bed next to him, her head leaned against the backrest, Joanna smiled slightly as Max exhaled, pulling her attention to him before Joanna looked down at Max's phone in her hand. She had woken up earlier than him and knowing that he needed every moment of sleep he could get after the night he just had, the Austrian was waiting for his alarm to go off, ready to stop it before it can wake Max up.

The moment the numbers turned on his screen the alarm went off which caused Joanna to turn it off right away before putting Max's phone back onto the bedside table. Leaning back against the headboard, Joanna pulled her legs up to her chest, before hugging her arms around them.

The things Sebastian had said last night stole all her sleep away. Since the day she lost her first child, Joanna had decided to let Mark become one of her ghosts. The Aussie could haunt her all he wanted, but he couldn't harm her any longer. He was gone. His knife blunt. The power of his words faded. He couldn't harm her any longer, for he was gone.

Losing a child is the foulest Joanna had ever had to feel. She felt numb. Her mind and soul were dying while her body screamed in pain. A rotten foul thing which wasn't able to carry out the task evolution had given it. Joanna's numbness never turned into grief. Grief would have meant that one day she might be able to get over it, to live with it, but her numbness turned into rage.

Rage that she had been left alone in such chaos, that the people closest to her could never know, that her father wouldn't have a single word of comfort for her, just judging looks and even more hurtful words. That night, all alone in a hospital room in a foreign country, Joanna had wished to die.

She felt so unbelievably lonely. Like a weak animal left to die and nobody cared enough to even look over their shoulder to see her go. She was drained. Her mind in a blank state, she feared her body would give in, so she actively had to remind herself to breathe. She wondered which part of her, exactly, was still functioning properly. Has she not failed one time too often by now?

The guilt threatened to suffocate her. Joanna had wanted to call Sebastian too desperately, to bail on the phone, a mixture of English and German until she would calm down enough to ask the man, who was her family to come and hold her. She never reached for her phone. Joanna went through it alone. As she was destined to be. Infinite sadness was her inheritance she was never meant for something else, and she understood that this very night in which she lost her first child.

Joanna was always intrigued by the things which were forbidden. She wanted what she couldn't have and more often than not, she got it in the end, but the price, which was to be paid, why would she ever pay such a prize? Who was she to do this to herself?

One bloody night shortly after she had lost her first baby, a son, Joanna took a knife. Her body still hurting from the loss of her child, her mind fogged and she cut all the infected flesh out like a maddened butcher. Everything which was a reminder of Mark had to go. She cut and cut and cut until all that was left was a mass of barely pulsing flesh. It was madness, but she had to do it, had to cut Mark out of her life as a whole, or she would have died with her child.