♥ I Never Thought I'd Love You ♥

~Chapter 7: They Don't Listen

~Chapter 7: They Don’t Listen

            “You listen? Everyone listens. They all respond to me. They know what I’m talking about,” I replied, confused and exasperated. “I don’t understand.”

            “No, Cordelia. No, no, no, no. They don’t LISTEN.” Niall gestured to his ear. “They hear you talk. They hear your words, but do they really pay attention to your meaning behind it all?” I stared at him silently, breathing hard. “They don’t. They don’t listen because they don’t care. They don’t understand and they don’t try to.”

            “Is this supposed to make me feel better?” I asked. “Because it’s not working.”

            Niall shook his head. “I’m telling you because… you needed to know. And plus, who else is going to tell you something like this?” He backed away.

            I felt reluctant to walk with him now. Even more than before. Not only was Niall weird, he was also invading my personal life. My dark memories. He doesn’t understand, I thought. He’ll never understand. I watched him, pressing my palms against the wall. My wrists started stinging, because the wall was pricking into my cuts. I felt like Niall had a lot more to say, but he just didn’t know how to continue. “Keep going, Niall.” I was shocked at my own words. I would NEVER let anyone criticize me without a fight, but I was curious to hear what I seemed like through somebody else’s eyes. No one had ever told me before. And I didn’t think anyone else ever would.

            He took a deep breath and offered out his hand. Strangely, I accepted it and we continued walking down the nature path. With my hand loosely and uncomfortably in his, he continued, “Tell the truth, Cordelia. Have you ever felt depressed?”

            I almost gasped out loud. I forgot! My cuts! I forgot to wear a long-sleeved shirt to hide them! I struggled to hide my wrist from Niall, but it was too late. He gripped my hand when I replied, “No, not ever--!”I struggled to pry my hand away from his, but he was too strong.

            “That’s not the truth, is it?”

            “Niall, please…!” I said. I had made new cuts yesterday, so those still hurt. Tears sprang to my eyes as I begged him to let go of me.

            Suddenly, Niall loosened his grip and wrapped me in his arms. I had never been hugged by anyone in my life but my mother. I felt really uncomfortable, so I tried to push him away. “Cordelia, why?” Niall asked, his voiced pained and cracking.

            I was literally in tears. “D-don’t ask,” I cried. The memories came flooding back into my mind, overwhelming me at once. I sank into his arms and stopped fighting back. I just cried and cried and cried. I wiped at my eyes, ruining my makeup. “I c-can’t.” Niall led me over to the fountain, made me sit down on the edge, and took out a handkerchief. He dipped it in the fountain and wiped away all my makeup. I immediately hid my face from him. “Don’t look at me,” I said, turning away from him. I was still half crying.

            “You’re insecure.” My ears perked up. Wasn’t there a song that started with those two words? I still hid my face, but I knew the next line, even before Niall said it. “Don’t know what for.” I felt Niall’s hands on my shoulder. I tried to shrug them off, but he pulled me to him. “You’re turning heads when you walk through the do-o-or. Don’t need makeup, to cover up. Being the way that you are is enou-ou-ough.” I shook my head, disagreeing with him.

            The song name came to me. I gasped and removed my hands to look at Niall. “You guys sang ‘What Makes You B--!’” I tried to cover up my face again, but Niall held my hands down.

            He studied my face, exhaled, and smiled. “Your eyes are much clearer now. You’re even more beautiful without makeup on.”

            I suddenly felt heat rise to my face. I had no idea what it was. I blinked, staring into Niall’s eyes. I was still uncomfortable, but Niall’s grip had loosened, so I pulled my hands out from his and turned to look at the ground.

            “You’re blushing,” Niall said.

            “I don’t blush. Or whatever that is.”

            “Yes, you do. You’re doing it right now.” I felt Niall touch my face. His hand was gentle, but it startled me so I turned my face really fast to look at him. My wrists hurt and I felt something drip down my arm. Three of my cuts had opened up and started bleeding. I hid them from Niall, but it wasn’t easy. The blood was dribbling down my fingers. My pained expression told him something was up. “You’re hurt.” His voice was alarmed.

            My eyes turned watery again and I looked away. “I’ve always been hurt.”