♥ I Never Thought I'd Love You ♥

~Chapter 63: I Honestly Don't Know

~Chapter 63: I Honestly Don’t Know

            “What else did he tell you about that night?”

            “That the woman shot was the mother of a little girl. He told me she was around six years old. Dad also told me that he told her to stay strong and save herself.” He paused for a moment. “But I guess now that the lady that was shot was Mum. And the girl he told me about was you.”

            Sometimes you gotta learn to save yourself. The words rang in my head. “That… police officer… that was… Dad?” I felt tears jump to my eyes. I wanted to sob and cry and just lie on the ground and weep.

            “It’s alright, Cordelia, just let it out. I know it’s hard. The subject is sensitive to me too.”

            After I finished crying, Cornelius replied, “But the thing is, I’m not staying here anymore. I’m moving to the US.”

            I looked up in shock. “What…?!”

            “I don’t want to stay here. This place holds me back with my past. I want to get away from here, go somewhere else and start a new beginning. Then maybe one day, I’ll come back and look at everything from a fresher perspective.”

            Start a new beginning. “When are you leaving?”

            “In a week. But here’s the thing, Cordelia. I know you want to start new also. To get away from all this, and just do it all over again. I’m willing to take you with me back to the US, but maybe not to where you were before. We’ll go someplace else and just meet new people and start a new life. What do you say?”

            I sighed. I was, once again, burdened with another choice. Niall is here, I thought. I can’t just leave him in this time of need. Even though it seems like he doesn’t want me around right now. I have so many people here that I love; I can’t just go and abandon everyone. “I don’t know.” I buried my face in my hands. “I honestly don’t know.”

            “Well… you have time to think about it. Just let me know when you’ve made up your mind. Before a week is up.”

            Cornelius got up, took one more look at me, and left.

~~~~

            I sighed, burying my face in my hands. Niall and I had drifted farther apart than ever. What broke us up anyway? My selfishness? Stubbornness? What was it? Haters? Management? Accidents? I knew I couldn’t blame anyone for breaking up Niall and my relationship. It was my own fault. Tears clouded my vision as they rolled down my face. I sat on our couch in our flat, wishing I could go back in time and make the right choices. Fix my regrets. I closed my eyes as I took a deep breath. Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. “I’ll start all over again.”

~~~~

            I walked into Maura’s hospital bedroom and set the lunch I made for Niall on the table inside. Niall wasn’t there; he was with the boys. Even though Maura was injured, it still wasn’t an excuse for management to postpone their events.

            I sat down next to Maura and bent over her, as if expecting her to open her eyes and smile at me, telling me everything was going to be alright. But she didn’t. She stayed still, breathing lightly, eyes closed. “Oh, Maura…” I couldn’t help but start to cry again. “I’m so sorry… I did this to you…”

            All of a sudden, I heard the door open. I wiped my tears away and turned around. It was Harry. Just Harry. “Where’s Niall?” I asked.

            Harry walked over to me and put his arm around my shoulders. “With the others,” he replied quietly.

            I leaned my head on his shoulder, appreciating his company. He seemed so down, I decided to lighten the mood up a bit. “So, you and Janelle, huh?” I asked, smiling lightly.

            Harry let out a shy laugh and looked down at his feet. “Yeah, she’s really cute.”

            I smiled a bit bigger and questioned, “When are you going ask her out?”

            Harry shrugged shyly and stayed silent for a moment. “When the time is right.”

            I let out a deep sigh. “Well it’s great to know that your love life is going pretty swell.”

            “What if she doesn’t want to take the stress?”

            I blinked. “I’m taking the stress.”

            Harry sighed. “Well, I guess I’ll just have to wait for the perfect moment, don’t I?”

            I shook my head, smiling. “You can't always wait for the perfect moment. Sometimes, you have to take the moment and make it perfect.”