♥ I Never Thought I'd Love You ♥

~Chapter 67: The Last Letter to Niall (MUST READ)

~Chapter 67: The Last Letter to Niall

            I woke up the next morning. Today was the day when I was leaving. It was sad that nobody knew about it, not even my best friend. But I would rather I burden myself with it then my most important people getting hurt by it.

            I cleaned up the place and wrote a heartfelt letter to Niall. I cried as I wrote it, but I knew it was worth it. After I ate a bit, I heard the doorbell ring. Checking everything one last time, I took one last look at the flat Niall and I shared for such a time, turned off the lights, and left the flat.

~~~~

            “Are you sure about this, Cordelia? It’s not too late to turn back now.” Cornelius looked at me, unsure.

            I stood firm and shook my head. “I’m not turning back. Not now.” I took out my phone and called Janelle.

            “Cordelia? What’s up?” Janelle answered.

            I spilled everything out to her, not giving her time to respond at all. The last line I said was, “I’m glad you were my best friend. I’m sorry for doing this, but it’s for the best. I hope you’ll always remember me. Goodbye!”

            “Cordelia, don’t you hang up--!” I hung up.

            Cornelius looked at me weirdly. “You didn’t give her a chance to respond.”

            “I didn’t want to hear her response. There’s no way she can persuade me to stay.” But in my mind, I’m sure he knew what I was thinking. I wanted to stay, but I couldn’t. We all knew why.

~~~~

            Cornelius lifted my luggage out of the back of the taxi car. “How did you tell Dad you were leaving?”

            Cornelius stayed silent for a moment, taking his luggage out also. “I just told him.”

            “I didn’t even get to see him after I figured out he was my father.”

            “Maybe you can come back one day.”

            And maybe not.

~~~~

            We entered the airport as I breathed in the familiar smell. Someone called me a few times, but I ignored them all. We turned our luggage in, and we walked to security check. I turned my head and looked out, somewhat hoping Niall would appear, even though I knew he wasn’t going to. As I went through security, a tear rolled down my face as I whispered, “You won’t make it this time, Niall. Not like I did.” I held the key to the flat Niall and I shared firmly in my palm. After taking a deep breath, I stepped onto the other side of the airport.

            “It was for the best.”

~*~*~*~

The Last Letter to Niall

Dearest Niall,

            I’m so sorry I couldn’t make you happy like you wanted me to. But you made me happy. You lifted me out of my depression when nobody else could. You put down my blade when nobody else cared. You stood by my side when nobody else was there. You loved me when nobody else did. You mean the world to me, and I’d do anything for you. I would suppress my own feelings to choose the better path for us. Even if it means having to leave you.

            It’s all the little things you did for me that I loved the most. Every kiss you gave me in the morning, all the way to all the tears you cried for me. Please don’t cry for me anymore though. I loved the way you held the door open for me, the way you looked into my eyes, the way you smiled when my name was mentioned, everything. I loved every moment of this journey together with you.

            The first time we kissed, you told me that you would give your happiness to me. And if you couldn’t, you said you would at least lend it to me until our time is up. Sadly, that time has come. So I decided it was time to give it back. That’s why I asked to go out with you yesterday. It was the best I could do. And I decided that it was the best for us too. I agree, we need a break. I’m sorry, babe. But I still love you, and I always will. That, I’m for sure. I don’t care how young I am, you will always be one of the most important people to me. You’re my hero, my saviour, my prince, my everything.

            It all sounds so ridiculous, doesn’t it? I know, but I’m sorry. I don’t know how else to say it to you. I just wanted you to know that I have no regrets with you. I don’t regret anything I ever had with you, I don’t regret loving you, and I don’t regret being with you. Out of everything, I regret nothing.

            You taught me so much, Niall James Horan. You taught me that nothing is really over until the moment I stop trying, that someone who lives in the past can never make it to the future, that you never know how strong you really are until being strong is your only choice, and mostly, sometimes people need to cry out all their tears to be able to make room for a heart full of smiles. I’ll never forget all of that.

            I guess all I really wanted you to know was what a phenomenal lover and friend you were. Your future wife will definitely be the luckiest girl ever out there. Thank you for being everything that you were for me. I’m so glad I met you, Niall. You have so much to look forward to. Your amazing Directioners, your four brilliant best friends, your fabulous family, and your extraordinary life you have planned out for yourself. I hope you’ll go and enjoy it, because I don’t want to hold you back.

            Since I'm not with you anymore, you need to remember to take care of yourself. I've cleaned up the flat. Your meal is in the refrigerator. When you come home, heat it up and you can eat. This is the last thing I can do for you. Remember not to stress yourself too much because of work. You'll get sick. Don't go out to drink too much with friends and don't smoke too much.

            I've also neatened up your favourite CDs for you. I didn't take everything I own from this house. I left the memories and times I’ve spent and devoted with you. Please don’t ever forget me.

            I love you, Niall James Horan.

            Goodbye.

Love,

Cordelia. x