♥ I Never Thought I'd Love You ♥

~Chapter 61: Why Wouldn't I?!

~Chapter 61: Why Wouldn’t I?!

            I walked back to my car, trying to hold the tears back. I had cried enough already. I drove back to me and Niall’s flat, not sure if it’d even be partly my flat any longer. Devastated about what had just happened, I collapsed on the ground and played “Little Things.” I listened to Niall’s solo over and over and over again. He said that part was dedicated to me, but really, who actually means that during teenage years? “It’s just lust,” I said out loud. “It’s difficult to love at age 19.” I sighed, remembering all the memories I shared with Niall. From when I first saw him at Adriana’s house, to when I stopped cutting, to when he proved he was true to me, all the way until now. It had been a little over a year. “And I really thought we would make it.”

            I sat back on the couch, avoiding the over-turned coffee table. Closing my eyes, I tried to imagine life if I didn’t meet Niall. I couldn’t picture anything. It was just pitch-black. “I’d be dead.” Then, I tried to imagine how life would be if Niall left me. Where would I go? What would I do for a living? Janelle would insist on helping me, but I can’t just rely on her, can I? “No, you can’t. You’d be the worst friend ever.”

            I sighed, realising sooner or later, I’d need to find a job. I couldn’t just live off of Niall’s money. “That makes you a terrible friend AND a terrible girlfriend.” I threw a pillow across the living room, frustrated. “You’re really not worth it all.” I buried my face in my hands. “I wish I could start all over again.”

            Suddenly, my phone started vibrating. I ignored it at first, then glanced up to see who was calling. To my surprise, it was Cornelius. “Hello?” I answered.

            “Cordelia…” I could hear from the sound of his voice that something was up. “I need to… discuss stuff with you.”

            “Not now, Cornelius. You called at the worst time possible.”

            “Please, Cordelia, you need to hear me out.”

            “Don’t you understand?! It’s because I went to go see you so many times that Niall is now angry and not talking to me! We nearly broke up because I kept going to see you! I’M NOT GOING TO SCREW UP ANOTHER TIME!”

            “Cordelia… I know about your father.”

            All of a sudden, I felt the whole world stop. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. “Wh… what?”

            “Meet me in the park in ten minutes.” He hung up.

            Was I going to go and risk being seen by paparazzi? Or was I going to stay home and push away this chance to know about my father?

~~~~

            I pulled the hood of my sweatshirt over my head more, keeping my sunglasses on. Even though it was burning hot, I’d rather be dying of the heat than seen by paparazzi. I walked over to Cornelius. “Make it quick,” I mumbled. “But don’t leave anything out.”

            He sighed and brought me over to a bench. We sat down and he asked, “Cordelia, do you honestly want to know who your father is?”

            “Is that a joke or what? Of course I want to know, why wouldn’t I?” I asked.

            Cornelius didn’t answer for a moment. He didn’t look at me and sighed. “Because…” He stopped.

            My patience was wearing thin. “Because what?! Why wouldn’t I?! Why wouldn’t I want to know?! Cornelius, answer me!” I urged him.

            “Because you…”

            “What, what?!”

            “Will you shut up?! It’s difficult enough without you having to keep pestering me with your incompetent rubbish!”

            I shut up, taken aback. “Fine then. Just answer me.”

            “I am not sure whether you’d feel this way, but… I know your father and I know your story. What I meant when I asked that question was… he thinks that you’d hate him if you knew your childhood story as clear as he did.”