Chapter 56

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I woke up in the middle of the night bussing sweats. I couldn't sleep and I couldn't stay sleep. I was so use to having Carter next to me every night these last past couple days been hard. I been overthinking, over reacting to everything, extremely mean, just completely not myself. No one wanted to talk to me and honestly I don't blame them. I was so stuck in my depression I wasn't even being a good mom to Harmony. I felt so bad and that's what made it worse.
I got up and took my shirt off and turned the fan on. Carter slept with a fan on cause he like to be cool at night. I done got so use to it I felt like I need it. I was so hot.

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I woke up to the sun hitting me in my face peaking through the windows. It was going on 1pm and I felt worse than I did when I went to sleep. I grabbed my phone and seen I had a few missed calls and text from the girls.

I called everyone back but no one answered. How do you get your life back on track after you just took a huge loss like this?

I got up to go get in the shower. It's been over a week since I actually been out my house, 5 days now since I last even talked to Carter. I started crying because I literally ran off the best thing that could of ever happened to me. He was so mad I know he's not gonna never wanna talk to me again.

My doorbell rang and I went to go answer it. It was D! She pulled me into her and I lost it! I broke down crying so bad as she hugged me. I did my hair and make up and I ruined it cause I bursted into tears.

Let it out baby, let it all out! She sang comforting me. "It's gone be okay! I don't really know what you going through but I know it's gone be okay!"

It's not D, it's not!

Yes it is, you gotta believe it is! You have a beautiful little girl depending on you, a wonderful man who loves you. We all love you! It's gone be okay!

We broke up!

What?

I was being so mean and so rude to him and I don't know what the fuck came over me I....I... I don't know D I told him to get out and leave and he asked me did I really want that. I was so mad at him for saying he was gonna give me space cause I couldn't handle him being so loving and...and trying to be there for me and I told him to leave. He told me it's over we done!

He didn't mean that!

Yea he did! He ment it I hurt him, and I didn't mean to!

When you get yourself together than you worry about him but for now let's take care of your mental! Let's take care of Asia!

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