Queen Of The Dons

Chapter 47

After a few days turned into a week. I began to think. I've completely turned into this person I never thought I would in a million years. I completely changed in ways I don't understand. And it was all because of a man. I don't know how I ended up here exactly. Love makes you do crazy things indeed. When I first met Carter he was so adamant and persistent. It was something about him that intrigued me. He drew me in with his kindness, how smart he was, humor, and determination. He's someone I would of never went for. I use to despise men like him. But the way he protects me and he provided for me and my child made me fall in love. He created this safe place for me, something I never had and I wanted desperately to always have that since I never did. When things was fucked up and we would be in hot water he fixed everything.

I guess after dealing with Dante so long I could say he broke me....made me insecure about myself from my body, my beauty down to my motherhood. Carter came in and uplifted me on so many levels and different aspects. So him cheating didn't just hurt me it kilt me a little bit and brought me back to that same person Dante made me to be. Helpless, insecure, not worthy of love or happiness. He says he's sorry and all and I know he means it but I'm just too Insecure to accept it. If you loved me the way you said you did then you wouldn't of done it in the first place.

Not all men cheat and what's for me will be for me. The man God sends for me will not lack in any category and won't cheat and make me feel worthless or insecure about myself. I love me and my daughter and son deserves a happy mom which is why in order to be the best me I have to change and let all toxicity out my life including the things I love that's hurting me. I need to heal not fall for anything.