The Girl at 829 (girlxgirl)

Prologue

"She's here!" Bigla akong na-excite at ninerbiyos at the same time. The thought of seeing and being with her gave a light knot on my stomach. Gusto kong tumakbo papalapit sa kanya—gusto ko siyang yakapin ng mahigpit at halikan mulo ulo hanggang paa. I wanted to hold her...undress her. I longed for her touch and scent. I wanted her warmth body leeching mine. I closed my eyes, and the thought gave shivers down my spine. No, hindi tama ito. This is not who I am. I was not raised to be like this. Yet, she's all that I want, she's all that matters to me. I cannot hold back. My mind is saying no, but my body and heart is hindering me to do so. I am drowning. She changed and turned me into someone I vaguely know. She consumed me. She is my best; she is my worst.   

I am weak, yet I fear that I can be strong. Natatakot ako dahil alam kong kaya ko. Natatakot ako sa sasabihin nila. Ano na lang ang sasabihin ng family ko? Matatanggap ba nila ako? Kami? Natatakot ako. Reality bites. But I am happy when I am with her. Yung feeling na tumitigil ang mundo mo pagmagkasama kayo. And everytime she holds my hand, it seems that everything is okay and I worry less. She makes me smile. No. She makes me laugh. And no one makes me feel how beautiful and special I am like she does. Sabi nga ni Renée Zellweger sa movie na Jerry Maguire, "You Complete Me." I thought that was so cliché. Pero totoo pala 'yon, because she perfectly did. She picked up the pieces and mended it when I was broken and tormented. She took away my pain; I became better.  

At meron pala talagang taong nakalaan para sa'yo, na isang araw ay darating na lang bigla sa buhay mo. And mine came along when I least expected it, and she was the best thing. At yung kasabihan na, "Love me for what I am," I say Fuck It! Because whether you like it or not, you change when you're in love. Nagbabago ka nang paraan ng pananamit, sa taste ng pagkain, sa librong binabasa. Nagbabago ang preference at pananaw mo sa buhay. At ang pinaka importante sa lahat, nababago ang tingin mo sa pag-ibig...Love changes you.

I stood up and looked in the mirror. This is me now—this is the woman I've become. I closed my eyes, made a short sigh and told myself—I love her.