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Suicide attempt 1.

You suffer from serious depression and decide to end your life.

Part 1

Trigger warning:
This chapter describes a suicide attempt. If you can't read something like this, you should not read this chapter and skip to the end.

The term suicide describes the act or process of killing oneself, which means purposely ending ones own life.

The reasons can be very different. Often it is an escape from an insufferable situation that is felt to be hopeless, or from negative feelings.

The most common method of suicide for women and men was suicide by hanging, strangulation, or choking.

In 2021, a total of 9,215 people died by suicide in Germany. That was more than 25 people per day. Men took their own lives significantly more often than women, with around 75% of suicides committed by men.

In Germany, suicide or attempted suicide are free of punishment. However, "helpers" who have a position of guarantee can be punished. The guarantor position is a term from criminal law.

It is a person's duty to make sure that a certain situation, for example, bodily injury, does not happen. Example: The parents do not help their drowning child on purpose.

If you know someone who is having suicidal thoughts, it is important to take the expressions seriously, talk to the person, and listen to them openly and calmly without judgment. Don't judge the person for wanting to kill themselves, and don't play it down.

In such a situation, it is especially important and necessary not to leave the affected person alone and to encourage the person to seek support. This can be, for example, the telephone counselling service, a crisis service, a doctor or a psychotherapist.

You can reach the telephone counselling service free of charge, even anonymously, around the clock on 0800 111 0 111 or the emergency service on 112.

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Y/N's view

Numb, I looked up at the deck to which I had tied my scarf, with tears in my eyes.

I felt empty and saw no reason to stay alive anymore. What was the point of me going through hell every day? I reached a point where I couldn't and didn't want to anymore.

No more tears fell down my cheeks. Even when I had the urge, I no longer brought forth tears. I didn't even bother to wipe the tears from my face.

As if controlled, I reached with my hand for the back of the chair that was under my scarf and stood on it with both feet. So I stood over the chair and right in front of the rope.

Countless thoughts circled in my mind as I looked at the scarf. I had to do it. If I didn't want to be in pain anymore, I had to finish it. There was no doubt about it.

I had already been through too much in my life. There were countless moments that destroyed me internally as well as externally. Life as an idol was never easy, but neither was my private life.

Since I was alive, there were only knockdowns, which I had cashed in. I was beaten and scolded by my parents for every little mistake. They punished me in the worst ways that no human being should ever experience.