Dear diary,
I forgot how siblings finish all your food. My hazelnut milk is almost gone I think. Although I don't mind, she's brought me sweets and chocolate lol. It's weird living with a sibling again because I've been the only child at home for years. I found it hard to sleep last night they were all talking and I put my AirPods in to drown out the noise, I'd never tell them to be quiet cos that's rude. But I realised how I've forgot what it's like to have a sibling home. I think she's here until Sunday
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My sister normally comes with my BIL but he's in Dubai so it's nice that I can literally roam around my house in little to no clothes, no hijab, short shorts, no bra, oversized thin top, hair plaited cos my head gets hot. It's just nice to be comfortable in this heat. She got me sweets, every time she comes over, she gets me my fave sweets and if that's not love then idk what is.
I think love comes in the most purest forms.
Love like, "I'm going to the shops, can I pick you up anything?"
Love like, "Here, I bought these flowers because of how much you liked them last time and they reminded me of you."
Did you drink water today?"
"Let's watch that show you've been telling me about." Or "I've been waiting to watch this show together"
Love like "you know you can always talk to me, right?"
A no boundary type of love. Endless love. Love with no rules. Love that isn't like "she / he didn't do that for me so I won't either" love selflessly.
I truly believe whatever love you put out in the world will eventually return to you in different ways
Love like "I missed you " even though it's only been two days since I last saw you- it's two days too long."
Love like "I want to sit and chat with you on this bench when we're eighty years old."
Love like "I never get tired of listening to you."
"How was your day?"
Love like "I'm so happy I met you, that our paths crossed"
"I'm sorry."
Love like "I want you to come with me."
"This reminds me of You"
Love like "I bought that book you've been wanting to read"
"I'm so proud of you."
"I can't wait to see you again"
"Are you home/text me when ur home."
Love is "you are home"
I believe in love. I really do. And I think love is often a choice. You CHOOSE to love someone on their worst days, you choose to love someone even on your worst day. You choose to see their flaws and their uglies and imperfections , because at the end of the day, you love them. You fall in love yea, but choosing to love is choosing to stay. Choosing to make each other happy. Making sure the other person goes to bed happy and not sad, I once read that someone who knows you're upset and chooses to go to sleep without working it out, is someone undeserving and unworthy of your love.
One of the reasons I believe in love is because of the way I love. I love so hard. I really do.
Just today I was in the petrol station with harisa, it was a sick petrol station by the way, and I was in the chocolate aisle and I grabbed her a caramel Fredo because I know she likes them, and I grabbed my sister a normal fredo.
I gave it to harisa in the car and she wasn't expecting it. I also later saw my sister eating her fredo. I left it in the fridge for her.
I just wish sometimes A saw my love. Idk why but I feel like he hates me. Actually I don't think he hates me. I haven't done anything for him to hate me, but it's the vibe I get lately and it's so confusing. But I'm done trying to prove myself because you know what? I'm a good person. I really am. My heart could be aching but I'll have a smile on my face and make my friends laugh.
Today I randomly got a flashback of my assault. Actually I don't wanna say "my assault" I don't want it belonging to me. It's not mine. But it then triggered another memory. Harisa was like what's wrong you seem off. I was like ah nah I'm just tired, and then I was goofy and made her laugh.
