547 days continued

10/9

Dear diary,

So I didn't sleep on the drive home from England yesterday. I almost did but I just couldn't sleep. It's the Audi seats I swear 😂😭

It's currently 9:45am on Sunday. I've been awake for ages but just been in bed.

I had a three hour nap when I came home yesterday. Not sure why I slept so long but I must have needed it. I wasn't hungry but I ate a bit of rice around 8pm. I finished off the film The Little Things. I didn't like the ending but the acting was top tier. They had all the good actors.

Iehab called me briefly when I was watching the film, but I spoke to her properly afterwards.

And then I texted A during the night until I felt like I should get some sleep.

I really wanna get back into shape. I don't think I'm fat by all means, but I do wanna tone up again. But I really cba to go to the gym so I'm gonna start with some home workouts and then work myself up to gym again, or maybe go for a run now. I don't think I should be doing excessive exercise but oh well.
I can't remember if I wrote about the other day when me and A went to his house to watch that scary film after work, we ate fish and chips and I remember he was so funny and caring that night he kept making me laugh lol was nice to chill with him , and honestly i felt stress free  He's been taking my mind off a lot lately like just being funny and making me laugh and talking about other things which I appreciate

I had a really sweet dream of A last night. I can't remember all of it but he was at my house and my mum spoke to him briefly and we chilled in the garden and cuddled and idk I can't remember it exactly but I remember waking up happy at like 5am😂

I went back to sleep right after.

I'm still getting pre period cramps. Will probs start today.
I'm craving tiramisu SO BAD OMG.

Me and the girls are going for a bbq today, I thought it was at Samah's house but it's at a lake. Somewhere in cdiff.
Contemplating asking A to text my sister for me to see her and my niece but low-key think she doesn't wanna see me at all so I'm scared of her answer.

The weather is finally cooooooool. So happy. Genuinely 😂 cannot wait for some cool autumn weather. Genuinely can't believe 2023 is almost done. AND I GET TO SEE EINAUDI NEXT MONTH INSHALLAH IM SO SO SO EXCITED!!!! Idk what to wear!! What does someone wear to the worlds best pianist concert??! I'll be sat in the presence of greatness 😭😭 think it's gonna be a memory I'm gonna cherish forever and it hasn't even happened yet

Iehab was asking me about my symptoms and cancer this morning and if I feel worse. I told her I'm pretty sure I have a GP appt this week coming unless I've mixed it up? So I need to ring them up tomorrow if I remember. I think the letters should be coming next week or the week after. She said 2-3 weeks.

Todays the first day I haven't woken up with a headache so that's good but my period pains are hurting. I feel like I could eat the entire earth so that's a major sign I'll be starting soon 😂 although I really don't feel like eating. I've lost my appetite the last two weeks

Me and tash are planning on going cinema tomorrow evening too. Gonna watch the nun. Cannot wait. I'm also craving wingstop so bad

I also need to go to cdiff to pick up my sports direct package but I don't know when I'll have time

I just went downstairs to eat something but I really can't . The thought of food makes me feel sick, unless I wait until evening time and eat at the bbq. Idk what's up with me

I still haven't ate. 😟😐
Both nostrils have bled today already but I'm leaving it now. Hospital isn't gonna do anything. I'll only go back if it's heavy blood and I feel really ill like when I called 111.
Feel a little nauseous but I genuinely can't tell if it's cos I haven't ate food. Feel weak. Writing this all down so it's like a symptom diary. No headache yet 🙂 hands haven't been shaking either which is good.

omg A MOON RING???!!

I would die for this ring. 😭😭😭

I've had a chill day today. Gonna have a shower now. Need to remind myself to set a reminder to call the gp or something

My headache started - just had codeine. I really don't feel well enough to go out tonight I wish I could tell my friends and they'd understand but I feel bad telling them. Maybe I'll feel okay when I go out. Wallah I feel so nauseous I think I'm gonna be sick I don't feel well enough to drive I'm about to cry and iehabs just texted me to let her know when I'm leaving 😭 I don't wanna go to hospital tonight either might catch a train

I'm finding it hard to breathe

I've pulled over. Not sure if I should turn around , continue or go to hospital.