Dear diary
Absolutely shattered. I've been wanting to sleep for a few hours now. Been awake early and had a draining day kinda. I was productive tho and went gym first thing in the morning. I didn't do much I didn't push myself but it counts for something
Turns out my family (sister and stuff) are leaving tomorrow. So Thursday. I'm actually a little upset cos I enjoyed their company. But at the same time, I don't mind too much.
I have taken so many candid natural Polaroids today. I love taking natural pics of people when they're not looking. I'm such an "in the moment" type of person. I hate it when my friends are like "omg ew don't take a pic of me I don't look good" cos firstly, yeah you do look good and secondly, pics are like a Time Machine, it's the only way we can relive the memories. I love taking them. Sometimes I wish people took more candid pics of me cos I'd love to see myself in these memories. But I'm always the one behind the camera. I love it tho it's like a hobby. One day I'll grow old and these are all I'll have. Memories. I hold onto memories and treasure them so much.
A lot happened today. H came over. Saw the fam. Chilled at McDonald's. I was out the house a lot today. Went out like 3/4 separate times.
Spoke to A. I'll get into the details of my day tomorrow or whenever. I'm just super tired right now. Debating cancelling work on Friday. I think I really need a break. A mental and physical one. But at the same time I need to work to save money and also to be able to do all the things I wanna do this summer and saving up for a car too. I'm really burnt out. I'm feeling it. I didn't have the energy to do much today which is why I didn't push myself at the gym. I really can't explain how I'm feeling. I kinda feel defeated. But I've got everything to be grateful for alhamdulilah
I confirmed with tash I'll pick her and her boyfriend up from the bus station at 6:30pm on Saturday.
A lot of my white friends wished me Eid mobarak today and I thought that was really thoughtful. I didn't even tell them it was Eid. I guess they heard from social media or somewhere and messaged me
That's really thoughtful. I have pure hearted friends.
I still really wanna write about my last few days. It's been a lot and there's a few things I wanna write about including today.
I also didn't get to attend Jos funeral today. I wished her a silent prayer. She was there for me at one of the worst times ngl. I opened up to her and I NEVER open up to people I'm not close with. Especially someone in work. I choose the people I open up to very carefully I'm very selective like that, i observe a lot until I decide who to share info with. There's still so much I haven't told so many people. I think the one person that knows everything through and through is iehab. Actually there's one or two things she doesn't know either. Somethings are better left unsaid.
Actually ,
There's one thing I've always wrote on here but ALWAYS deleted before I upload. It's one thing no one knows, I briefly told my mum at one point a few years ago but I watered it down.
anyways my eyes are burning
Good night diary
00:00am
Omg I'm so tired
And I feel
So light head headed
3:28am
