So as the days going, I've been feeling worse and I was sick earlier and there was blood in it. I would have drove myself to hospital, cos I know blood in vomit isn't good.
But we have family coming over in the evening, and also I don't want to go to hospital anymore. Or the doctors.
I ended up falling asleep. Both my parents saw how bad I've been feeling today and they've been telling me to rest.
I haven't ate much today. I only slept for like 15 mins cos then iehab rang me, she needed help with medication and how to put it in her ear. and I couldn't fall back asleep. But I really needed that short nap, it helped although I still feel really horrible. I think this is just how it's gonna be for me now.
There's no cure for cancer anyway.
——
So I've just come in
Got my sister and baby cousin birthday cake and balloons, from cake box. it's boiling. Just had a shower
My nose has been bleeding non stop but I'm putting on a calm and neutral face. A brave face, if you will.
Just gotta take and live in the happy moments now
It is what it is
I feel a little better now but no one genuinely knows how bad I feel😭😭
Will probs have to go back to the doctors and hospital I wanna avoid them. But I've finally ate so that's a good thing
Maybe I'll start telling A my concerns, he's quite understanding and gentle and patient so it should be okay.
I eased into it the other day, idk. I need to think about it or wait and see
I don't want to stress anyone though either
Or worry
Like I'll deal with it all myself if anything
——
Absolutely shattered - will update tomorrow or the day after
There's also a film I wanna watch and books I wanna read but my eyes are begging me to sleep
My arm is killing me from the blood test
I was washing my face before bed and when I went over my nose it hurt so bad I need to be careful
Why do babies cry in their sleep, like bro just sleep?😂 I'll probably wake up a few times in the night but I tend to fall asleep again quite fast
I feel ill again
