A shit day turned into a really good day. Just got home
I'm so so so tired writing this and wanna have a shower before bed. My eye sight is quite blurry and I've noticed it's gotten worse ever since my health has deteriorated.
I wasn't feeling good today. At ALL. I felt AWFUL. So I met up with iehab and even tho it was kinda windy, I felt like I was quite warm, and I felt so, SO nauseous. My eyes were hurting and my vision was going blurry I was incredibly lightheaded and I was just in pain. I was also feeling so overwhelmed with everything and life. Something happened right before I left home to meet iehab and it just set me off. Iehab said she could tell I was overwhelmed, I didn't even tell her how I was feeling either. She just knew.
I didn't complain until I really couldn't do it anymore. I told iehab I wasn't feeling too good but eventually somewhere in town, I had to stop walking and I told iehab I need to sit down or lean against a wall because it feels like I'm gonna faint and my nose is gonna bleed (it did bleed).
Iehab grabbed my arm instantly. She said I looked really pale and looked awful she was worried I was gonna faint. She hasn't seen me like that before and I think she realised when I say I don't feel good, I really mean it. She wouldn't let go of my arm. I told her I was fine I just needed fresh air . So she held onto me and we walked through peacocks so she could browse some clothes and then we sat outside.
We got a fruit smoothie before hand though. I hadn't ate anything and I needed something cold but not sugary. I feel like sugar would have just sent me over the edge and I'd have been sick.
So I went to this fruit smoothie place I've always wanted to try and it was tasty, and I also got this crepe cake I've always wanted to try - was not tasty. I had two bites and left the rest. I took it home but I won't eat it, I'll give it to my dad.
But I had the smoothie first to cool me down, and then we sat outside and I tried the cake and we sat there for a while. Bless iehab I think she was cold but I really needed fresh air and I needed to sit down for a bit. And then we made our way for food.
I was actually SO hungry. I hadn't ate much all day. I had two pieces of toast which is a lot for me cos I normally only have one but my dad made this thing he wanted me to try so I had another piece but it was HOURS ago. And I was starving honestly and i think it was making me feel worse.
My nose bled in her car twice. Not loads, literally only a bit but I just really really wasn't feeling good today. I felt the exact same way I did on the night shift that night A picked me up. I didn't even wanna walk.
We went to this burger place and omg it was INCREDIBLE. It was SO tasty. I ate it in SECONDS. I was starving. The chips were a bit spicy for me so iehab had them.
And honestly I felt better after having food. I had a headache all day. I'm starting to think this is the new normal for me. My health. But when I ate the burger it's like I could FEEL my body feeling better it was so weird. I know it's not cos of lack of food cos I literally ate breakfast like yes I was absolutely starving, but I don't think I was feeling that bad cos of hunger. But the food really really helped me. Like I gained energy from it.
It's getting worse.
I need to eat better. The thing with me is, one day I'll eat a lot and the next I'll barely eat a thing.
We went to Starbucks after but I didn't get anything cos I feel like it would make me feel sick again and I was feeling better so iehab got a drink and I just got water there.
We laughed a lot today. Bumped into a few of iehabs friends.
She makes me laugh so much and she was so hyper in the car 😂 I said something today and it made her laugh so much😂😂 we also had an arm wrestle to see who's stronger. We both have the same strength so we stayed in the same position like in the middle for ages but I think I might be a little stronger 😂 we did a thumbs war 3x and she won 3x . I'm weakkkk
It was a good day. I'm glad I felt better later on.
A said he'd let me know about tomorrow.
We also went clothes shopping, I tried on this dress and when I went to put my own clothes back on, I didn't put on a top. So I was wearing a top underneath the top/dress thing I was wearing but I didn't wear it and I felt cooler as well. I should have just worn a skirt or dress today , I get warm quite quickly by nature and I felt worse today cos I didn't feel good and felt warm, maybe I'd have felt cooler with a dress. The weather was rainy and windy but it was warm.
I wore my heeled boots today just to change up my style a bit and feel girly 💅🏽
I don't think I would have drove home if I felt that bad tonight but luckily I felt better. It's quite difficult cos it randomly hits me. But sometimes it creeps up on me and I just know it's not gonna be a good day for me.
I'm gonna get ready for bed as I'm still in my jeans.
Bless her she's just texted me asking me how I feel. I also bumped into a girl from work in Starbucks today she's so lovely we are around the same age, wasn't expecting to see her there at all lol.
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Iehabs road rage is the funniest thing ever lol
But anyways Gonna sleep soon I'm shattered
We also quoted a meme or vine at the exact same time today in the same voice and then we both looked at each other right after we said it and started laughing 😂
Girl friendships are so underrated. We both wanna go clubbing lol. Obviously wouldn't. I actually got invited to go a few times in comp as I grew up with white friends and they said I'd be so fun in a club 😂 but alcohol makes me uncomfortable even the smell brings back the worst memories. Just don't like the grubby environment either. I've taken care of my drunk friends, I've been to a few parties and house parties and stuff. I was that kid in comp that was friends with everyone like I just got on with everyone. Had my close circle of friends but was good with everyone in my year. Been offered alcohol so many times but it's something I'll never (inshAllah ever) give in to. I won't allow myself. I'm not even tempted by it. I luckily never have been. How do you let yourself indulge in something which is the same reason that destroyed you and took your innocence away from you? I never would cos of religion, but it's also the thing that ruined my youth for me. You don't forget things like that. You just learn to deal with it and accept that it happens to girls.
But if there was like a female only or "halalified" club, me and iehab would tear it down 😂 if the right songs are being played lol.
We literally spent hours not doing much today but had such a good time and laughed so much. We look out for each other and that's how it should be. We said some childhood stories and I was the reason my grandparents got new locks on their doors cos I took hide and seek a little too far and locked the door as a 7 year old and I was the only one inside and all my cousins were out on the balcony and garden and then the lock was really old so it got stuck so they had to smash the window and change the lock. I've always been a little competitive lol
I low-key wanna stay up cos it's the last few nights I'd be able to stay up until I'm back waking up at 6am and doing long days every single day and being stressed out. I really didn't enjoy this summer as much as I thought I would but I shouldn't complain either.
Hoping I feel better tomorrow.
Good night diary
I just had a shower and I'm ready to sleep. It's like my eyes are begging to me sleep now. I still have a headache
