Dear diary,
It's Wednesday 29th November 2023 at 21:45pm.
I know I said I'd write about the last few days and I honestly will, but I just wanted to come on here and say how much I love my mum. I'm crying right now and I know it's due to my period hormones cos I start in exactly a week. I always get the worst mood swings and get soo emotional a week before and very spicy lol.
But my mum is so special to me, there's not a single soul on this earth who loves me the way she loves me and cares for me. Even my friends, specifically Iehab, says to me how good my mum is to me. Nothing has even happened in particular for me to be so emotional about it, I just don't want her to ever die.
I don't want to live a life without her , I know the day she dies is when my life will fall apart. It saddens me cos I think she probably thinks I don't love her as much or whatever, but I'd do anything for her.
I just wish she had a better and easier life. She deserves the heavens and more. I need to stop crying 😂 I wish she knew how much I love her. I tell her I love her. I'm so thankful she's my mum. Yeah we've had our fair share of arguments and screaming and tears, but who hasn't? I wish death wasn't a part of life. My eyes are gonna be puffy tomorrow from crying 😂😂
I was very tempted to go to the gp to stop having periods, I don't like the mood swings before my period starts. It really fucks you up. Me and tash were talking about this last night, like genuinely you feel a little depressed a week before. Depending on the person obviously. Some girls probably don't even get mood swings. Like I could be so happy, then moody, then sad, then happy again, all within an hour, not to mention really spicy as well😭😂
I'm still thinking about stopping them, but the cons outweigh the pros. I don't wanna deal with the side effects and aftermath of the medication or if I get an IUD or anything. So I think it's just something I have to deal with, but just thinking about dealing with the hormones every month stresses me out 😭😂
Okay I've stopped crying and feel better lol
Uni today was decent I learnt a fair bit but I just felt so sick today . I was fine when I woke up in the morning but I think my blood pressure dropped significantly cos I hadn't ate or whatever. Idk what triggered it but when I parked up in uni is when I felt it. I just felt so dizzy and nauseous. I was so tempted to leave the entire day but I stuck it out. They had split us in two groups at different time intervals and I was in the later afternoon session but I went in the earlier one so I could go home earlier too . I'm glad I came in though. I went home and slept for nearly four hours. I had to put two pillows underneath my head cos I felt too dizzy with just one pillow. I couldn't even bring myself to eat anything and my nose bled quite bad today. I went into the canteen to fill up my water bottle and I see a. Group of students raising money for Palestine doing a bake sale so I bought a brownie and donated money but I gave the brownie to Angela. Brownies are my fave dessert so I really was feeling sick to not eat that brownie. I got a little annoyed tho cos my friends knew I was feeling sick they said I was Pale so I was like I don't think I'll eat this brownie and one woman was like I'll eat that brownie I was like ??? I couldn't even hide my emotions cos my period hormones plus feeling a little sick I was like um no I might eat it later. But I couldn't so Angela said she wanted it, and that girl was gonna take it off Angela I was like you can half it . Like chill it's only a brownie . My dad randomly woke me up to ask me about the car incident like the guy who reversed into my mums car and I was so sleepy and out of it. I managed to give him a coherent answer but I fell right back asleep😂 normally k get annoyed if I've been woken up from a nap but I knew I would fall asleep again. I was in such deep sleep. I've not been sleeping well lately only about 4 hours a night lately and I kinda think that's why I was feeling sick today as well cos lack of sleep causes dizziness too. I'm normally a light sleeper but sometimes I surprise myself with how deep I sleep sometimes lol. I did some uni work and helped out with the group presentation when I woke up. I have a really good group of friends in uni alhamdulilah I'm really happy and get on well with all of them .
