Dear diary, (wrote this yesterday 8/10/23)
I had chest pains throughout the night and felt nauseous. I also had weird dreams that woke me up in the night probably due to watching a horror film before I slept lol.
I woke up and still had chest pain but instead of it being sporadic like it was yesterday, it was constant. It's kinda died down now but I can still feel it a bit? And I have a new lump/bump I discovered this morning. Great.
I did the white wash today, laundry and things, I did blacks and colours yesterday. I've tidied up a bit and things and cleaned.
I kinda opened up a bit to A today but I haven't told him everything yet. I haven't even told my family. In time. I'm struggling with this whole family thing. No one knows my family better than I do. So there's a reason why I've been delaying it. I might even tell my close friends/A first. He said he'd have come with me for support to my gp appt which is kind of him, but it's on Thursday, talking of
My nose just bled quite bad but I'm back.
I was thinking of my bucket list the other day. I remember I made one when I was a teen and I can't find it anymore. I remember sending it to A and he wanted to complete that bucket list with me, he always wanted to take me to a football game. That was one of the things on my list. Actually it was a World Cup game, but I wouldn't mind a standard football game either for the experience. I've always had an interest in football from a young age. I wanna find it. it's nice to be able to cross things off and the idea is fun. I've always been a spontaneous person, never been someone to plan things ahead unless it's for a holiday, so a bucket list comes naturally to me lol.
Omg I just remembered we made a small bucket list on his phone.
I need to make a list of what i want to ask the gp so I don't forget. Biop, leave, work/uni, treatment, 90%, naseptin, blood, uni also want me to discu
I randomly remembered my auntie today, and I was thinking i wish I was old enough at the time to have been someone she could have talked to. It's so good to have someone in your life you can share all your unfiltered thoughts to without being judged. I have two people like that.
I also can't believe the weather right now for October. Global warming really came out to play.
The weather yesterday was perfect. Iehab said it felt like we were on holiday lol. We chilled in the car park outside for a while just talking deep.
I spoke to my sister and brother in law today, was a nice short catch up.
I have a snap of 4 years ago today of Phoebe in uni and a video of iehab from 4 years ago in uni. It's crazy how much we've all changed.
——
My head is killing me.
----
Dear diary, (I wrote this earlier today (9/10/23 today)
I need a break and im so glad tash called cos its just what I needed.
Tash randomly called me last night and wanted to go for a drive and talk and things. I loved that she called and wanted to spend time. We haven't gone for a chill drive together for a while. She was driving when she called me. It was in the evening I wanted to go out and spend time with her as well, we've been trying to meet up for a few days now but our plans didn't align.
It took me back to comp days. Me and tash would ALWAYS go for drives and chill in the car park or walk around comp at night. Especially during autumn/winter, idk why.
Idk why but it was just our thing, all the time. It was so therapeutic. She would come pick me up or we'd hang out after comp for hours. Our friendship was unexpected lol, but we just clicked. She's definitely my best friend, we've been through it all together.
