Dear diary
When I went to the doctors, they did a breast exam. It's the second time I've had a breast exam. Thankfully she was a woman, if he was a man, I'd have asked for a woman anyway. She never ruled out cancer. She had a good feel around it, and the swollen lymph node I have as well. She actually looked kinda concerned and looked serious. But I guess those things are taken seriously anyway.
It was obviously uncomfortable. But I actually wasn't embarrassed. I just wanted it to be over and done with as soon as possible. Urgh so much on my minnnddddd.
I've not shared this with anyone. My family know about the first breast exam but not second one I had the other day.
I was actually worried A would feel the lump on my right breast when we did stuff the other day, but I think I was too in the moment to care at the time.
Have to wait for blood tests to come back, next step would be a mammogram and biopsy. I know how these things work.
I was concerned between leukaemia or breast cancer
Hopefully it's benign.
But inshAllah it's none.
I know they can test for cancer / tumour markers in a blood test but they only do that if the initial blood test comes back abnormal.
I just don't want anyone asking me how things are cos I don't wanna tell anyone. Not until I can wrap my head around things myself.
My last few days have been good, kinda saved iehabs car the other day lol.
Will write more i just feel a little sad
But nothing is confirmed until I have the definitive diagnosis and my blood tests back
I think I need to start eating more healthily, I think I eat balanced anyway but still. I actually eat really healthy to be fair.
When my aunt had leukemia (the one who died at 24) she couldn't really eat fried food, only healthy food.
I remember when she lost all her hair, I was only 9-10 when she passed but she was beautiful.
I spoke to ays and she was like you're so skinny and I was like idk why cos I eat so much lately and I get hungry so fast now and craving so much sugar and she's like it's cos you're so anemic it's severe and your body craves sugar for energy but you need to stop eating so much sugar cos it might backfire. But I genuinely can't help it like it's like period cravings
I never used to have such a fast metabolism. I've lost weight again even more
