Dear diary
Just did my night routine. I did my skin care last night and I used new products (Lancôme anti stress moisturising day and night cream) and it made me break out when I woke up in the morning ☹️ my skin was actually clear for a good month so I'm annoyed so I'm back to my normal skin care lol. I need to buy more it's running out.
I'm currently listening to an old school song 'You' by lil Wayne and Lloyd.
So today was a pretty eventful day. i woke up a little late but I got there . I woke up the first time my alarm went off I just stayed in bed lol.
I got a strange email from uni I was like umm no this is incorrect? So I had to sort that out.
My dad asked if I wanted to go out with him after and I almost always say no and I feel bad. Initially I said no. I was tired and things. But then I remembered I need to spend more time with them. Not just cos of me, but they're growing old. And I know he wants to spend time with me.
He wanted a day out with me, he wanted to take me to subway and Costa and things. I said no to all of that at first cos I really didn't have an appetite and it's genuinely been years since I've had a subway so it sounded appealing but I said no anyways cos I wasn't hungry. Subway was always mine and tashs thing. Me and her were meant to meet this week but plans change.
He took me to these car part places to show me where to go if I ever needed to buy car parts and things. It was just a car day. We went to a few garages. Went to Halfords. He spoiled me. He got me a few car smelly things. Tbh my dad does spoil me . I don't ask for much and if he's ever shopping I always make sure to get the cheapest item. I'm the same with my mum. Friends and family. It's the way I am and have been raised, I'll just try and get the cheapest one. Unless you're a close friend and I pay for something or pay for our meal and they pay for our meal next time. Me and iehab are like that, we don't keep track of who's paid what, and I love that. We just do it for the sake of each other. We had a nice heart to heart the other night, appreciating each other. InshAllah we always stay friends.
I asked to go to kfc or Starbucks (I couldn't make my mind up lol, but I didn't wanna eat anything so I had Starbucks) I got a pumpkin spice frappe with soya milk and he got the pumpkin spice latte. And then we went for a walk around that area. Then went to the Toyota garage opposite.
He talked cars the entire journey. I think I zoned out at one point. But he was so excited and happy I came with him. It kinda made me feel bad cos I don't spend that much time with my dad. I was watching him pick pears and apples from our fruit trees and he didn't know I was watching. I was sat on the sofa by the patio door and he walked up and saw me and had the biggest smile on his face, he's like did you see the tool I made to pick the fruit?? Bless him
I think growing old is lonely. I'm crying now. It was a good dad daughter day out
I had toast in the morning with a cup of soya milk for breakfast. I didn't want to but I genuinely think I was beginning to feel sick cos of how hungry I was. I wasn't hungry actually. I mean I guess I was. Idk it's hard to explain. Like I know I could eat but I jus can't so I actually feel worse. Which is why I've been trying to eat more lately. I woke up feeling dizzy so I was like umm I have to force myself. I've also been eating a little more cos I've lost more weight. I'm 57.4kg now 😧 that's quite light for me. I'm not sure if they'll weigh me at the gp tomorrow but I've purposely tried to eat a bit more today so it doesn't show I've lost weight tomorrow.
I had lunch, it was small, but I still had it. Had a packet of Doritos and a fruit milkshake smoothie thing.
My dads been so sweet lately I asked him to make me a hot drink cos I love my dads drinks and he was like what does my baby want. And he gave me a few different options. He wanted to squeeze apple juice from the apples from our apple tree. Nice and organic. He also made me a nice Persian salad for dinner, I didn't ask, he just did it. And it was so tasty.
My mum came home , she had been shopping as well and stopped by cafe Nero and thought of me and got me a drink and it was the cutest thing. I think it's really sweet when someone goes out of their way thinking of you. I didn't drink it all cos I already had a Starbucks but it was actually so tasty. Cafe Nero is underrated. I gave the rest to her to finish.
She made soup. For those that don't know, I don't like soup. I say I don't like it, but I'll eat it, it's just the last thing I'd ever eat. Apart from tomato soup or mushroom soup 😋
She was like heli, you're gonna eat this soup. She said, I'm gonna make you soup for the next few weeks and I want you to cut down on sugary food so hopefully you feel better. I've actually never seen her be like that with my diet.
I know exactly why she's saying it. They did the same for my auntie. She wasn't allowed to eat junk or fried food.
I don't eat much sugar anymore although I'm craving a crepe, it's been ages I had one. I just said okay to her and thanked her. I had my soup with rice 😂 I remember telling A agesss ago that I do this lol. I add rice to my soup to make it thick😂 so I had that for dinner. And salad after. I also had a tiny pain au chocolat for dessert.
I didn't eat anything after the salad. So I've had quite a bit today. And I can't lie I'm lying in bed and I'm a little hungry. But I don't like eating right before I sleep. I guess that's a good thing that my appetite might be returning.
I spoke to A today, he was being funny lol.
It's so windy and rainy. I can hear the wind with one AirPod in.
I spoke to my friends today. Mainly Phoebe. Iehabs been wanting to see me today or tomorrow but I said Saturday instead. I told her to come down mine. We'll see.
Phoebe has been playing sims lately and she's been snapping me it, and my other friend Cayley has been playing it so I got tempted. So I played it this evening. I like building houses on it. I can't believe I accidentally scratched his Mac😭 I was genuinely devastated. It's not mine it's his😩 I need to get a case on that asap.
I've felt a little spicy tonight, might be the stress and I need a stress reliever. I'm due my period in ten days. Maybe that's why I've broke out a little too.
I've been finding it hard to sleep at night lately , I haven't even had a nap today. Sleep is important. Gps words not mine. I woke up a few times during the night last night, I didn't feel the best but I felt decent during the day. So I woke up a little tired this morning.
Anyways, I should sleep.
Adios
23:04pm
27/9/2023
Omg I just saw a TikTok and it was a woman filming whenever her husband would play with her hair when they'd both be on their phones in bed and she asked why do you do that and he said to say I love you without using words. I loveeeeee it when A does the skin trace thing or plays with my hair or rubs my back. It's so comforting and relaxing. And I genuinely do feel loved when he does it.
