Dear diary
I'm writing yesterdays. But I just came home (I know my ends pretty well, I took a different way to get to the motorway today and it turned out being faster, it's the same route I take on the way home to avoid traffic, magor way) it ends up taking me right before getting on the bridge
Yesterday:
I got a pack of cereal bars and I gave one to H and the cleaner came in and I helped her change the rubbish in the bins and I gave her a cereal bar too. I put it in her pocket. I think im quite selfless like I didn't hesitate to give her one, H made a comment about that. It's fine I can always get myself more cereal bars. I'd rather give to those around me and then let myself have one.
We had another racist patient yesterday
H left the room to get our supervisor and the elderly patient says to me "do you find it hard speaking our language?"
And I acted dumb and said
"What language?"
He goes
"Our language; the English language"
Fucking hell like.
Do I sound like I'm struggling cos you can clearly hear every fucking alphabet I'm saying to you. Would you like me to enunciate every syllable and letter right to your cochlea into your ear drum ????
Urgjjhhwksbdowosjs
Why do racist people exist
I'm in a bad mood
So I said "of course not I was born here and English is my first language?"
And he kinda went silent.
Old geezer.
And so many patients today and other times have said "don't you get hot in that?"
If I was hot I'd take it off. URGH. Just mind ur business omg
I should be like
Don't you get tired of being in peoples business
Don't you get tired of having a nose like Pinocchio all nosey and shit
I felt a little light headed and my mum said I look quite pale (yesterday morning) and told me to take a banana for energy. With me, yeah I write in my diary but I don't express it to my friends or those around me, my bp is low in the 80s and I feel dizzy sometimes but I don't tell my friends / harisa or whatever)
She sent me a text the other day saying I have to drive otherwise she needs to do petrol.
Sorry?? As if I don't??
This is what I mean when I say I feel used sometimes I find that a little disrespectful.
Patients were decent yestrtday. There was one I had that absolutely stumped me. He had a rash all over his back and I've never seen anything like it. And my supervisor decided to leave the gp without telling us so I was stuck and ended up asking another doctor to come see this patient after she was free cos she had patients too.
I weighed myself when she wasn't in the room but she walked in as I was getting off the scales and she's like how much do you weigh?
I didn't wanna say for two reasons. 1) she's trying to lose weight and calorie counts everything, I didn't wanna make her feel bad cos I know it's a senssitive topic and 2) if I do mention my weight or what I wanna eat for lunch, she almost always makes a comment and it makes me feel bad about myself
One of the doctors who is our main supervisor was discussing what food places there are here and me being the foodie I am, I was like omg I love that, ong that sounds good etc etc and he looked at me and was like where does it all go? And I kinda felt bad in front of H that he said that.
Tbh I never used to have a fast metabolism I actually used to put on weight but I think I have a faster metabolism now but I also keep active.
So I said I didn't wanna say and she said why so I told her reason number 1 and she's like you just made that more awkward than it needed it to be. And I'm like no I haven't? I know you're trying to lose weight and I know it might make you a little sad or whatever as it has in the past and she just gave me a weird look. I was like I hope ur not offended cos I'm actually taking your feelings into consideration.
