Dear diary
Yesterday was a decent day, went to Cheltenham for half a day, was gonna go home and shower and change but I went to Asda instead, I have recently found that the bras in Asda are good and comfy, although they're the complete wrong sizing but still.
Then I went to the hospital to see iehab and A. I went to the ent place for my nose and they were being a bit arsey for some reason, this one lady in particular.
H is annoying me a little but I cba to get into that.
They took ages to see me but I'm just grateful they made time to see me cos I didn't have an appt. They didn't do anything to my right nostril and afterwards it kept bleeding. They both did actually. But I felt a little ill again after when I was waiting for A, my right nostril bled and I hadn't ate anything all day apart from a packet of crisps. I don't tend to eat when it's this warm, but idk maybe ny sugar levels dropped or something but my hands started shaking and I felt light headed. I actually held onto the railings when walking down the stairs.
They said if it bleeds again then go to a&e. But I don't wanna go anymore.
He told me to eat food but I really don't like eating when it's so warm and honestly I didn't feel hungry like maybe a little peckish to have a snack but not a meal.
But we went pepes, I actually think my driving was okay?maybe? Lol
And you know what? I ate the entire thing. Almost. Couldn't finish my chips but the chicken was so tasty. He got a mild which honestly tasted like a medium 🥵
Bless iehab kept asking if she should bring food for me whilst I was waiting to be seen and it was so kind of her. Was v kind of A as well.
I've started to realise who's in your life when things go wrong in your life. Some people wanna know to be nosey and not care and some people know and genuinely wanna help. I've definitely 100% seen the difference in the people in my life. Hence why I keep a lot of things to myself and decide to share things to the few people I know care and I fully trust.
I felt a little better after eating food although I can't lie I had a really bad headache and was super tired and felt SO nauseous, idk how I drove home the way I did. Had my window down on the motorway to have some fresh air, idk I just didn't feel that good in the evening last night.
A drove me all the way home, which was super kind and generous of him. He's chivalrous.
He was like my little body guard , felt like I was VIP😂 actually he isn't little tho is he, he's like a big macho bodyguard.
He also said to let him know if my dad is being funny when I come home, which idk I take these small things into consideration like I notice the little things. Like him saying that, shows me he listens and cares. Not just my own life but home life too. Like I think it's important when someone cares.
Honestly I was so tired last night I had a shower and fell asleep.
I did set my alarm this morning but low-key didn't wanna go placement but I will start to from next week like I'll go everyday. It's just so long and dead when it's not something you enjoy at all. I wish A understood where I'm coming from.
I spoke to A as he was walking to town this morning, he got cake, jealous but I know I wouldn't be able to eat it in this heat either. I told him I haven't ate anything so I'll go eat but I still haven't had anything to eat. It's too warm. I don't even wanna go to town with my family during the day, but I think my cousin wants me to come but it's just so warm. Anyone who knows me knows I absolutely hate hot weather.
I can't wait for some rain.
I feel a little dizzy right now, I'm laying in bed. Like I feel nauseous so I'm hoping that subsides.
A asked me if I'd tell my family if I have cancer, idk. I don't wanna tell anyone. I'm still debating if I'm gonna bring anyone to the appt with me or if I shouldn't tell anyone and hope they forget I've been referred.
I gave in and told my family I'll come with them
My mum just said "you don't look well, you don't have to come"
But I feel bad cos when we go to Iran, my cousin spends so much time with us and for us. It's the least I can do. It's the last day today as well.
Urgh we shall see how it goes. My nose has bled a few times in front of my mum this week, it's been awful this week, the hot weather really doesn't help, and every time it bleeds she seems so worried. Even when I came home last night she was worried.
I had a little cry before bed last night. I'm a little overwhelmed, so I look forward to spending time with friends to take my mind off it all. It was the first cry I've had in ages to be fair.
I should probably eat something as well
Okay so this was all two days ago, I'll write yesterdays now
