Eternity with You

His Feelings ( Regret )

Kim Seungmin

  She looks at me with nothingness, And to me it causes so much pain.

  Her freinds called her over. Hyunjin too went to talk to her. Me with my thoughts wanting to look at her but could not! And as I saw that gaze, I can not!

  Hyunjin talked to her for time being and then made his way toward me. I again sighed thinking of heaven's made.

   That day I was the closest I could be. That day I saw her dance, saw her sing. Saw her being emerged in the fun.

  My heart wanted to hold her hands. The way I held them earlier. To stand beside her. To look at her without blinking. To told her seeing her smiling is the only thing I want now!

   But the day ended. I was enjoying view of her, every emotion being restricted. Each and every emotion of her making my heart to react.

  We were wating, for the bus to arrive. My eyes over her but her eyes searching for someone.

  I was with her for whole day but Did I get a chance to look at her? Everytime my eyes wanting to stay still at her, but I tried hard not to look at her. And now, I was staring at her. In dim light. Her sky with twinkling stars.

  And again the clouds seems to appear. She was looking for someone. And I knew who it was. Her heaven's made!

  Before she could worry much, I answered telling her he will be back.

  And not looking at me for even a second she turned. My heart again sunk in deep dispair. That I will not seeing her for holidays. And she never thought of me once. And I never got chance to talk to her.

  We parted in front of college. But Hyunjin made driver to stop the car. I saw her, she was worrying so much. The dark cloud with night, howering above her.

  Is she scared of night?

  Hyunjin made his way out. I was wishing him to stay in front and make her sit beside me. And he did. As I thought, she refused first but she joined.

  I wanted to stare at her but a moment she realised my presence, her clouds changed into night sky and again disappeared. I froze again! Staring at distant not knowing why but not allowing myself to look at her.

  Not making her feel wierd. Not making fool of her, nor getting in her side. But I felt she feels nothing for me. Not even a gaze not a smile. She didn't even dared to look at me.

  I took out my phone and so does everyone. She was on her phone and me making my eyes to look over her. Her hairs messed up those slight curls tangled in one another.

  Her perfume was it giving mild scent of her presence, not too strong but still visible. Her lips when curled and then froze again. Her worry not to disturb other. Her gaze sometimes trying to see if I'm looking at her.

  But for all the time not a single cloud!

  We reached her home. She went outside. I don't want this! It wasnt even a proper ride. We are parting for month. Stay a little longer.

  And I couldn't hold my thoughts, looking at her. She leaving with no thoughts in her mind. And now the clouds above her twinkling with various stars.

  She looked back and again, it disappeared. My gaze stayed there. For once to let her know I was looking at her knowing, she won't be able to see me. But I want her to look at me. And I didn't wanted to be nothing to her no more!

  I refused Hyunjin's request to join them. But my heart can't be settled in nothing. These days, with every hour, every minute and every second haunted me. My heart longing for her smile. Her sweet voice. Her presence.