BotW Champions Group Chat

Hyrule Histories & Mysteries

(Link and Daruk joined the chat)

LINK: Yo Daruk, what up my big rock man

DARUK: Not much little guy. Say i was wondering, my young grandbro Yunobo tells me you got my Boulder Breaker? You got all the Champion weapons?

LINK: Yeah I do. I may have had to get some uh repairs done a few times.

DARUK: Oh. well, i was wondering, can we have them back?

LINK: Aren't you guys like ghosts or smth?

DARUK: I mean we can pilot divine beasts and use purah pads... Why not have weapons?

LINK: Well then you might as well be alive, right? What's even the difference?

DARUK: Well I can't pat you on the back, that's for sure

LINK: Maybe that's for the best

(Urbosa, Zelda, Mipha, and Revali joined the chat)

URBOSA: Sav'otta my friends

LINK: I was just telling Daruk how I have all your champions weapons

REVALI: Damn it now your hylian fingerprints are gonna be all over my precious bow!

LINK: Don't worry Revali, I made sure to break your bow 69 times and get it repaired each time. It should be good as new rn

REVALI: Frick you, hylian champion. I won't take this kind of humiliation. Did we not agree to put our differences aside 100 years ago?

LINK: Well I lost my memory, what's your excuse?

REVALI: Stfu

(Revali left the chat)

URBOSA: Someone must've left the turkey in the oven too long

ZELDA: Speaking of which Link, what do you think of my Bow of Light? Pretty neat right?

LINK: Yeah I guess so. I actually clipped out of the battle with Dark Beast Ganon and played with that bow around Hyrule for a few hours before resetting the battle.

ZELDA: Huh

MIPHA: Are you alright Link? Do you need healing?

DARUK: U good Link?

LINK: Yeah, I'm "good", rock man

ZELDA: Is that your nickname for Daruk?

LINK: Who else would I be referring to, Dwayne the rock johnson?

MIPHA: Who is that?

LINK: All you need to know is that I'm 10x stronger than he is, and I got admirers all round Hyrule too

MIPHA: A-admirers?

LINK: Yeah, I got a fan club now like Sidon

MIPHA: Sidon has a fan club????

URBOSA: Mipha sweety, maybe you should leave the chat for now

MIPHA: I-

ZELDA: I'll just say that Link's #1 admirer is myself, guilty as charged

(Urbosa left the chat)

LINK: Fair enough. Aren't we technically related tho

ZELDA: Excuse me?

LINK: Didn't the first Link and Zelda who came down from the sky get together? You are descended from the first Zelda who was a reincarnation of Goddess Hylia right, and I'm of the lineage of the Knights of Hyrule who are descended from the first hero

ZELDA: How the hell did you learn all this history?

LINK: I've spent to much time looking up fan theories on the internet. And don't worry, it may not be true, y'see. It's just a theory, a game theory.

ZELDA: How did you bypass the parental controls!???

DARUK: Zelda lol

ZELDA: Well anyway, I'm sure that was like a million years ago Link. Seeing how many unrealistic time skips there are in Hyrule's history, I'm sure it's fine.

LINK: Don't even get me started on unrealistic time skips. Like the Sheikah remember a legend from 10,000 years ago? The hell? I read that a species could learn to get to space in half of that time

MIPHA: Space?

LINK: You know, up above?

DARUK: Ain't that were Din and Nayru and Farore live?

(Link kicked Daruk off the chat)

ZELDA: Link, I am supposed to be the nerd, not you

LINK: I'm a character insert, I can be whatever the heck I want, right

MIPHA: Character insert? Link what's gotten into you????

LINK: Don't stress about it, Miph. Just know I'm a street man now.

(Sidon joined the chat)

SIDON: Yooooo what up Link my fine man!

LINK: Not much, Side man

SIDON: Ayyy what up sis! How are you? I missed you for those hundred years! I didn't have anybody else to talk to but father! 

SIDON: Muzu and the council were real grumpy about your death, and my fan club is kinda weird! But now I got Link and he's my bestie!

LINK: Didn't you have Yona to talk you, your wife? She's like your childhood friend right? Seems kinda sus she wasn't around when I came to appease Vah Ruta. Never heard a word about her from when you were a kid or an adult until recently.

SIDON: I mean, she's from another domain, y'know?

ZELDA: There's a second zora's domain???? Where!???? I must know! We need to expand Hyrulean political influence!

SIDON: Uhh I've been there a few times myself, y'know. It's waaay far away, 'cross the Lanayru Sea

ZELDA: Well, i'm going to investigate this

(Zelda left the chat)

LINK: This Yona seems like some sort of weird anomaly. Either that or a plot hole. Or perhaps she's the imposter among us? ඞඞඞ

SIDON: Well I got a kid on the way, so peace out Link man! Just remember, you're my best bud, and you the greatest hero in all the land!

LINK: Yeah cya later, Side man

(Sidon left the chat)

MIPHA: You've changed Link. Are you really the Link I knew?

LINK: Nope, not one bit. Check out Age of Calamity Link tho, I think you'd quite like him. Wait he's already got a Miph in his timeline... Damn. Well, idk, I'll sort something out.

MIPHA: ....

LINK: Well this is awkward, and I don't like awkward silences. Oh, here's an idea. How about the folks reading ask us some questions? And make them really personal too!

MIPHA: I-

(Link kicked Mipha off the chat)

LINK: Being a moderator feels good doesn't it

(Link left the chat)